Okay... we're processing...
Here's where I currently am: Many of my friends and family have been having the same thoughts. My conversations are repeating because we're all in this thing called grief together. (Cue Prince... "Dearly Beloved") We've shared our stages of grief and cried the same tears all damn day.
We've all experienced rage and fear and sadness...we're going through the phases of grief with crack-like speed. We've reached the part where we finally decide to get out of bed. We're showering and leaving the house and suddenly a brand new realization hits: A SHIT load of people who walk among us believe and support a man who has said racist, bigoted, misogynistic, xenophobic, alarming, no-good, terrible things. These people are condoning and supporting a way of life that puts us marginalized folks in harm's way.
So we're out running errands and we get weird looks. Many friends who are marginalized (i.e. people of color, women, LGBTQ+, non-Christian, etc.) are suddenly scared. Folks have already reported hate crimes and it hasn't even been 24 hours yet. My white female friends and family are terrified, too. They're terrified to know these people voted against their rights, concerns and values, but they're also terrified we (the marginalized) will look at them with fear...questioning if they voted for hate.
We're stepping out on egg shells. We're looking for clues that will help us figure out if we're safe or not.
We need a code. We need some sort of secret language, a nod, SUMTHIN' so that we can exist in our bodies comfortably and know others who surround us support us.
I've cried entirely too much today and drank entirely too much wine (before 5pm, too. Judge me.) so the brain is fried. I can't come up with the secret handshake today and we can't all wear pantsuits for the rest of our lives so I need some help.
I do not write "the rest of our lives" carelessly, either. I don't know about y'all, but four years from now when we vote again I'm not going to suddenly have a change of heart and say "Okay, I'm down to be friends with casual racists and bigots because the screaming orange blister is gone."
We're witnesses a fundamental shift.
I need to know who I'm dealing with and then we'll hit the stage of grief where we're all ready to fight, defend, respect and support equal rights for all.
This is giving me some goodness tonight so I thought I'd share.
Luv & Kiwi, y'all...