Los Angeles Has a Due Date. Who Knew?


I thought I'd never see the day. I want to leave Los Angeles.

Don't freak. I'm not so down with ditching the dream quite yet, but studios and work are popping up all over the country. It's no longer necessary to be in this expensive ass city.

The other day I was walking through our neighborhood with Z and stumbled upon a two bedroom home that's for sale...it's going for $1.1 million dollars. Two bedrooms, y'all. I almost lost my shit in front of strangers.

When the average Joe can't afford a tiny arse two bedroom home...when you have to be a millionaire to breath in this city it's time to go. There's no silly attempts at keeping up with the Joneses...we know better.

We want to be able to breath and live and that means leaving damn LA. Forget the perfect weather! Forget the beaches and the no bug livin' la vida loca nights! Give me an affordable home with a backyard that Z can play in and room to breath and live. Truly live. Not just survive.

One of our good family friends visited us tonight. She was lighter... more carefree and truly happy. And it was all because her and her husband have decided to ditch LA and move back to their home state. She makes six figures and can't afford a home in LA. There's something wrong with that. And now she doesn't have to worry about private schools because the public schools here suck balls...she doesn't have to worry about housing and slumlords and all the other crap that comes with LA living. I'm so jealous it hurts. I've told her she has to text me every day while she house hunts so I can live vicariously through her. It's only right.

That was the final straw. I've put an expiration date on LA. If I haven't booked anything by December we're leaving. And I won't be sad. We're thinking Austin, Texas... I will gladly take on that damn heat and water bugs for a house with a backyard.

When moms are asking me if I've started applying to pre schools that are the same price as some community college tuitions I know I'm in the wrong place. When I sweat shopping at Whole Foods because a splurge there could break my damn bank...It's time to go. Middle folk have no business living amongst the haves. Hi, my name is Tish and I am a Have Not. For now.

I'm growing up, y'all. I'm not going to stubbornly hold on to this place at my family's expense.

...and now I'm reading this; finally admitting all this to myself and taking a moment to truly process it all.

When did I grow up?

Holy shit.


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