Sleep Regression. Otherwise Known as Hell on Earth

8.25.2015

If you can't see the video, go here foo. 

I don't know why I thought making a video would somehow be easier than writing. I had to wait four days to get some damn sleep before I could even begin to process the idea that I would have to then edit said video.

(It ain't Snapchat after all!)

A couple of days later...after quite a few tearful meltdowns I have the beginnings of a sleep journey documented. I'm laughing as I type this because the pessimist in me keeps slapping me stupid and reminding me that I don't really believe Z is in a phase. I kind of think she's going to take 20 minute crap naps her entire life. She'll be 20 years old, still sleeping only 20 minutes at a time, living at home and asking me if she can nurse.

I may be losing sleep, but I haven't lost my sense of humor. (I think. Everything hurts so I may have and just not felt that yet.)

The sleep trainer is calling us today. I might cry because I'm totally waiting for her to say "Oh this kid is hopeless! I've never seen someone this wound up and clearly gone. You've rocked her and nursed her to sleep?! You've ruined all chances of her self soothing!"

Hopefully she comes in like Super Nanny and saves the day. I had a dream this morning (she actually slept for TWO WHOLE HOURS!) and in that dream I was Super Mom and I had the power to magically scan Z's body for ailments so that I would know why the fuck she keeps waking.

SCAN!

"She's wet."

SCAN!

"Her eczema is flaring up!"

SCAN!

"She's teething!"

Wouldn't THAT be grand.

... wish us luck.

Signed,

One dazed and confused walking zombie.

ps can we all just ignore the weird thing on my lip in part of the video? Who knows what it was... a chili flake, baby poop. This is motherhood in all its glory. Lets just chalk up to life in the trenches and call it a mother truckin' day.

2 comments:

  1. FYI this sleep loss is doing serious long term damage to you. I'm proof. I got to the end of your post before I realized I'd ALREADY READ IT. Just hadn't watched the video. So yeah, I feel ya. Once you get this spell figured out she'll learn to roll over. and practice rolling all night and wake up crying. And then crawling. And then standing. The fun, it never ends! (But it's really cute when they're standing there like "waaa how do I get down?? I never learned that...") #themoreyouknow

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL The struggle...it's more than real. It's hurtful. LOL

      Delete

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