Open Sesame!

2.26.2014


A couple of weeks ago (way before this crazy intense bug infected me with craziness) I went to the bathroom at Arclight before a show and bumped into Punky Brewster. (Okay, so her real name is Soleil Moon Frye...but I grew up in the 80's. Home girl is Punky forever and ever amen.) 

Days after spotting the Punky, I shared a coffee counter with Ellen Page and my little demons of jealousy started barking at me. Running into celebrities is always an intensely weird situation for me. I've said before, it's not that I get star struck; I just sink into the land of questions: how did they get there? What magic do they have that I don't possess? 

I sorta, kinda want to rub them and see if the magic will rub off. A friend of mine is currently shooting a film and is posting pics of her adventures on Instagram and I swear I'm about to explode with all the questions. I finally had to reach out and ask her...I never know if that's suitable or not, but how else will I make my way?! 

Guys, how in the world do I do this? Now that my health is improving I'm back to my normal concerns...making it! I need to make it! I sat in a meeting yesterday taking notes except when I looked back on what I had written it had nothing to do with the meeting. Instead I had written, "Act already! Be an actor!,"  over and over again. Not conducive to working my way up a corporate ladder, I know, but I CAN'T HELP IT. 

This disease called "wanting to be a film actor" ...It's worse than this crazy stomach bug I have that's for sure. I want so desperately for some doors to open. Understatement of the century.


Day 12

2.24.2014
Oh my God! I have the sickness that never dies!

YES! I am STILL sick...which makes for lousy writing. Something weird happens when you're on the couch for more than three days. You detach from the world. Social media becomes irrelevant. I catch myself unfollowing lots of folks I don't know who aren't saying stuff that brings me joy. Why do we follow strangers? All of a sudden that just sounds weird.

It's my life in the time of the great illness. (That's what I refer to this period as.) I swear I've never known someone could stay sick for this long with these symptoms. I'm not handling it all well, either. I needed sunshine so badly that I made Mark walk me around the block on Saturday. That gave me the courage to attempt a movie on Sunday followed by an hour of tax time with our tax guy. (Joyful)

The movie was really good at least. I was scared shatless that I'd get sick, but I made it through without any episodes. That's what my life has come to...sooo frustrating!

So yeah, that's why I've been missing from this blog. Hoping this week the lab doesn't destroy the samples I gave (like they did the first time!) Hope they find the culprit behind this stuff and treat it so that I can get back to me. Me...I miss meeeeeeeee!

12 days of sickness can SHO change a girl. I'd love to think I'm one of those pleasant sick people, but I just cry and moan a lot.

February is not my month.

About Valentines Day...

2.19.2014
The only googly eyes I made were the ones that came in between pangs of anguish on the potty. Y'all I have been in some kind of place for the past week and all I can do is pray and hope that whatever it is that is currently wreaking havoc on my body isn't permanent.

(I've never wished for e coli poisoning so much in my life!)

I'd like to say I've had the time to reflect, but honestly I'm out of it most of the day. I sleep a lot. I no longer like to talk about poop and fart jokes. I get it...it's my thing. People love to send me stuff on the daily, but when it's all I've done, day in and day out for days and days I start to hate it mucho. Mucho, people!

I've lost close to ten pounds. TEN POUNDS! I didn't know I had 10 pounds of poop to lose! No this is not a good thing, either. It comes at a beautiful price. I can't eat hardly anything. I've survived on pears and bananas and one can of chicken soup a day. I've had to ignore all things foodie blog because it's just too cruel.

Thank GOD for good partners. Mark has really been so good to me. Real love is standing in a bathroom with your other as they shat their hearts out and they stay even when it stinks to pat your back. Takes a special man...with special nostrils. I love him so.

Pray for good news today. My lab work hopefully comes in soon. I want something easy I can cure quickly! Fingers (and legs) crossed.

Be well my friends!




My trooper...

Act Where You Can

2.12.2014

Act Where You Can

I shall follow his advice. I will not be choosy (beggars really never can be, after all) and I shall do the darn thang!

When the Mista's Away...

2.10.2014
The Tish reflects and misses him and drinks a grip of wine and watches lots of chick flicks and texts her friends and has cry-y moments with her girls that make her world even more lovelier.

Mark left for his awesome little twin time in Vail, Colorado and I missed him the moment he pulled out of the garage. I know...totally lame and girly but I did. I didn't think I would actually lol...true story: All that home boy did for two weeks was talk about Vail and snow and shredding and snowboarding this bowl and that bowl...blah blah blah. I was so ready for that boy to get out of my face with that mess...then the minute he was leaving I changed my mind.

Women...

I really do get super weirded out that I'm that girl... I like to believe nothing changed after I got married; that I'm still the same girl with the same cool laid back stance on relationships...including the one I have with myself, but I love and need Mark. He makes a night at home watching chick flicks pretty darn wonderful.

Dude gets back today and I'm doing little happy dances. I shall try not to smother him, but I make no guarantees he won't say, "Chill baby, chill!"

I don't know what this means for my gangsterness. I've been writing in my journal more trying to figure out this new me is.

Just gonna take it one lovely day at a time and revel in all things husband. I still find girls who make their man their everything and only thing lame, but I'm making room for the girl who makes room for her husband.

New chapter. Page One.

Kidult Chronicles: Entry 2 (Finances)

2.07.2014
True story:
 
I flipped OUT yesterday. The news that we'll be saving an obscene amount of money for a couple of years combined with not being able to go to Europe this year like we had originally planned combined with finding out my doctor and/or insurance company is royally screwing me in the arse over that endoscopy I had back in December left me in a panic over finances. 

Big time panic.

Like I gave all the change I had to a charity sitting outside of Trader Joe's and then started bawling over needing that change once I got in my car. Oh My God, Tish! Yes, freaked the EFF out might be a better desciption of what happened to me. 

Am I better today? Nooooooooo. I'm just waiting to hear if my insurance issues are all just some big huge misunderstanding that won't result in me paying thousands of dollars. I'm breathing in and out on hope and hope alone.

This whole kidult thing is terrifying me. I was okay with the getting hitched stuff. Even the baby stuff was growing on me, but now that finances are on lock down and my health insurance is bullying me into fetal position I'm code "not cool." Hoping for a huge life break in the clouds Big Guy Upstairs....I need a biiiiiig part in the clouds and a beautiful ray of light...Madonna style. 

..and exhale. 

Failed One Hundred Percent!

2.05.2014
By now the post I wrote for Fit Bottomed Girls has gone live and I can squeal (out loud) that I got to interview Heather B. Armstrong from Dooce.com. Ya'll I have a writer's crush on that woman and it is strong like no other! I've dreamed about her and her family not once, not twice, but FOUR freaky times AND I've started a luv and kiwi post that I haven't quite finished wherein I list all the big fish I want to befriend in my lifetime. She's on that list!!! (Spoiler Alert: Oprah and Ellen are also on that list.)

So yeah...I interviewed the queen of blogging and it was awesome and I sucked at hiding my star-struckness. I kept repeating to myself, "Be professional! You're a journalist, damn it!" but it didn't matter. I was like the charming sister, Honey, from Notting Hill when she says:

Oh God, this is one of those key moments in life, when it's possible you can be really, genuinely cool - and I'm failing 100%. I absolutely and totally and utterly adore you and I think you're the most beautiful woman in the world and more importantly I genuinely believe and have believed for some time now that we can be best friends. What do YOU think?


Dooce.com, dooce, heather b. armstrong, notting hill, honey, groupie, fandom, blogger


Like Honey I failed 100%. I would ask her a question and she'd respond and I'd be squealing in the background wanting to scream, "I know because I read everything you write on every social media platform available on the planet Earth!" I think I even mentioned that I might 'shit my pants'...yes friends, I was NOT eloquent, cool, calm or collected.

So yeah, check out my interview today. I'll post the other two posts I wrote based on our talk later in the week on twitter. We dished, yo. She gave me all kinds of fitness good stuff.

So now that we've shared a journalistic moment I'm on to Phase 2 of my master plan: Best Friendom. Jen's totally okay with this (for all those worried that my budding buddy could harm my favorite friendship.) She's got her Gwen Goals...I have my Dooce Dreams and we're okay with knowing groupie-based friendships are just completely impossible to ignore. We make room....we make room, yo.


Appreciating the Love


best friend, friendship, mastin kipp, daily love, jason lee, fit bottomed girls
{Credit: Jason Lee}

Love is complete. Your soul mate doesn’t “complete you” – your soul mate is a reflection of you. Be whole, not a half.

So many people run around looking for someone “to complete them.” But the thing is, we are all just fallible human beings, so no one will ever complete you or live up to your expectations.

That is why it is so important to keep our eyes on The Uni-verse and Its Love for us. The Love of The Uni-verse never changes. Other people change, other people mess up, but The Uni-verse is constantly on our side, Loving us and showing us how we can grow even closer to happiness and Love.

Our aim should be to not seek and chase for Love, but to BE IT. This means self-love first. True Love isn’t setting HUGE expectations of someone else that they always make you happy and fulfilled. ~ Mastin Kipp

Mastin Kipp, one of my favorite self help gurus (I have no other word for what he does...Love Doctor?) recently wrote the above statement and while folks would assume it forced me to direct my attention towards Mark it actually made me think of my soul mate who happens to be my best gal pal, Jen...duh. 

I'm fortunate that I found her when I was young and that our friendship is so damn dope that we could grow up to form mature and wonderful relationships with our now husbands and others, based on the friendship trial and errors we went through. Our relationship is the barometer for how I conduct my love business with others; most especially my dear ole hubby dude. 

I love that I can literally talk to her about everything...if I'm upset/weak/vulnerable I trust her 100% to come back at me with genuine love and I trust that I do the same for her. That's a HUGE gift, folks. Have you ever been listening to someone and you've wanted to tell them they're wrong or that they've hurt you somehow, but you're not comfortable enough with how they might react to actually speak up? That's a scary existence to not be able to share your whole truth with another human being! I have this person who I've opened up to and received goodness in return from and I use that memory to help me through new situations with folks. 

I read the part about your soul mate being a reflection of you...not a part of your completeness and I exclaimed, "Yes, brother Kipp! You're hitting the nail on its friendly head!" 

Go out and hug a friend you can truly be yourself around. It's a beautiful thing. 






Honor Your Words

2.04.2014
tea, honor your words


Word. 

Joining SAG

2.03.2014
You know a couple years ago I met with my (then) agent to discuss joining SAG and he said it wasn't a good idea... that I needed to prove my chops in the under belly of the acting world (otherwise known as non-union gigs) before trying to kick it with the big fish. I listened and waited for those jobs to come around.

I've noticed something over the years, though. Everyone in Hollywood has mixed opinions about joining the Union: some people say they can get me work only if I'm a member while others say don't join until you absolutely have to.

I can't tell if I'm being bamboozled and when...or by who?!

Then a couple of weeks ago a friend wrote me and asked for my agent's information. She said the show she writes for is looking for actors such as myself and I was pumped! The stars in my eyes started growing exponentially. I thought it could possibly be my turn...FINALLY! She then asked me if I was SAG.

no.

No, I'm not. Does that matter? Can't folks still hire me for a job even if I'm not? My agent sends me out for union jobs all the time so...

Haven't heard back from my friend, but I did some extra work last year that got me one magical voucher towards my Willy Wonka Day (SAG time, people! Try to keep up!) I called the SAG line and listened to a very long message about eligibility and all that jazz. Trying to see if any of the other gigs I've ever done would help, but the site's down. Oh the anticipation!

This year I'm getting into the Union. It's been eight years in Hollywood. It's time. I'm not seeing any action as a non-union minnow. I'll move to the big fishy pond and try my luck there. The fire in my butt is still burning hot, y'all. (That wasn't just a bad toot.) I want to make some waves!

Tish the Fish is coming for ya, Hollywood!

sag, aftra, union, actor, little fish big pond

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