John Green Beckons My Tears

1.30.2014
Damn it, I loved this book so much I cuss my love at it! (Jen will totally understand this violent need to profuse my love with gangsta fierceness.)

I love books, but I ADORE me some great reads...you know the kind of books you can't put down and once it's done you cry and cry and weep and weep because you miss the characters? I miss Hazel so effing bad! I want more of her! Now I get her all over again, but this time she'll have a face that I can love...effing love violently.

Ugh! (Luv grunt)



Going to pool a bunch of John Green fans together and we shall see this...and we shall cry and love together. Please Hollywood, do not EFF THIS UP! 

Early LA Morn

1.29.2014

LA Sky, clouds, los angeles, early bird, morning

I woke up before my alarm...like three hours before my alarm so I figured I might as well get dressed and go work it out in the gym early. As I was getting back into my car, post-workout, my alarm to wake up started going off...and I felt like a muther trucking bad arse. 

I can't do that every day, but when it magically happens on its own I'm a happy girl. Apparently the early bird gets ALL THE THINGS DONE! 

His Birthday


Because it's all about him and his awesome twinness...

 My sister-in-law and I got together and planned for our fellas to meet up this year for their birthday and shred the mountains with their snowboards to their crazy little hearts' contents. I'm happy he was actually freaked out happy for this gift. I'm known in my circles as the gift whisperer, but with him it's always super hard because I spoil him rotten for Christmas and then I've got nothing in my arsenal after that. (Classic problem for most Aquarius babies, I'm afraid.) 

Luckily, I have a fail safe. Homeboy can't get enough of the snow and boarding so...entonces...Ipso Facto...VAIL HE GOES! I'm hoping he has a blast out there with his duplicate. I shall delight in knowing that once again the gift whisperer has done her duty. 

Kidult Chronicles | Entry 1 (Buying a Home)

1.28.2014
Okay so I've made a lot of kidult decisions, but since is the first time I'm labeling such choices, I'm gonna go ahead and say this is entry numero uno: Buying a Home.

Nope, we haven't done it yet, but for some strange reason Mark and I both are wracking up these life altering ideas simultaneously. Let's have a baby! Sure! (That hasn't happened yet...don't pee your pants.)

Let's buy a home! Okay!!!

...How do we do that?!

That's where we are right now. We have fun friends who have been most helpful with introducing us to the right people. Our tax man (who is brilliant and affordable if you need someone) introduced us to a woman who is at this moment combing through our finances to see where we stand on the whole thing. How much we can afford, yadda yadda. This is a huge part for us being that we live in Los Angeles--THE place for whackaliciously expensive homes that are 700 sq feet and cost a million dollars. I shit you not, my friends.

So once that's done we'll start to figure out what kind of home loan we want. Who knew an FHA is considered taboo to some sellers! Also, my grandpa was a tax lawyer and is brilliant at all things financial. I asked him about using 401Ks for a down. I could hear that man's screams from states away. That would be a big fat, very bold, emphatic "HELLO NO, Tishy!" Don't do anything that results in a penalty (and messes with your old people fund.) Got it, Gramps. You da man.

So yeah...HGTV lied to us! We thought a magic fairy would come around and plop money into our laps and tell us we could use that to purchase and decorate our home. Mwahahahaaaa. Oh how naive we kidults were and still are.

We're learning...and shaking in our boots. Any suggestions, guidance, love...please send! This will be an ongoing adventure I'm guessing.

buying a home, first time home buyers, luv and kiwi, kidult
 This is the ideal abode. Need an ocean front, but in the valley because we love our 'hood...for $150,000: Credit: Armchairbuilder.com}

A girl can dream illogically, can't she?

Museum Day

1.27.2014

Over the weekend Mark and I met up with friends to take advantage of the free museum day in Los Angeles. Hitting up as many museums as possible sounded like a grand idea initially, but in retrospect I should have packed more Tylenol and comfier shoes for my buddies because that was a LOT of walking + standing.

It was totally worth all the pain, though. We hit up four in total and had a blast. I saw Matisse pieces (pieces that I've loved for years) as well as some hilarious contemporary art that left me smirking. Some thangs are just silliness. I'm not an intellectual, ya'll...I don't see the depth and seriousness of a giant bikini hanging over a door. 

The art was great. The food was fun (we hung with all vegans so we found the best places to get vegan-friendly goodies.) The company was wonderful and the different dynamics all came together under one lovely museum roof for a day of fun. It was just lovely.

I love our adventures. 



Love. Obsession. Same Difference.

1.24.2014





There's just something about having a pup around the house. I love when E brings Dolly over to play. Dolly the Dog is Dog on Crack for at LEAST an hour. She runs full, crazy crack speed all over our home and then finally settles down and becomes too adorable for any normal mortal's sanity. 

Last night I wrapped her up in her favorite blanket and carried her around like a baby. She stared at me like I had lost my damn mind. (Bug-eyed intense stare) 

I just love her so. 

alone.

1.22.2014
I recently watched this.

... a short bit from His Holiness the Dalai Lama where he discusses fears...and how one of our great fears is being alone.

 
(luv the bit about farting...which is a big duh if you know me.)

...then I watched this and it was like a beautifully coincidental aha moment hit me upside the head. I need more time with me and me alone. I'm happy and wonderful, but that doesn't mean I can't continue the journey to self-fulfillment, AKA Happy Town. My solo adventures are coming...sans phone crutches.


Hair Gasms

1.20.2014




...It was time for a change.

I got a couple hairs cut by a new fella, Shai Amiel. I just had to try the Deva Cut everyone's talking about. It's the bomb dot com. He cut my fro dry and when he was done I looked like Cleopatra/ and a lion had spawned. It was TOTALLY WICKED!

It felt good to change something, ya know? I just needed something new for the new year. I'm usually not cool kickin' it with such cliche behavior, but something in my soul was restless. Shai's instagram page was the catalyst I needed to push me over that proverbial edge. 

Doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results is insanity, right? I felt that I've been circling in insane, crazy patterns for too long. New do, new attitude, new desperation, new fears, new hopes, even new dreams...I'm just dancing in the new. 





Bag Lady...You Gone Hurt Yo Back

1.16.2014
I've done this before for FBG, but a gym bag is way less personal than a stupid purse which usually should tell a lot about a person but in my case sadly doesn't. So I'm gonna pull a Tish and pimp out this idea just a tad...add a bit of luv and some kiwi to the mix. (cute smiles)

...Because when I was a kid I was OBSESSED with Mary Poppins' magic carpet bag:


So home girl did that. Here's my bag. Judge me lots:


So this is my ish in all its splendid glory. (My husband's feet appear in the pic as well.) He laughed at this project and said I was weird, but we'll see what homeboy thinks when spies catch us and we have to MacGyver our way out of that pickle! He won't be scoffing then!  Let's go in for a more in depth look, though shall we?


I'm really not big with bragging about the bag label I rock. Yes, I find myself digging some bags that cost a pretty penny (meaning it's over $30), but I dig a kiosk or hand-me-down just as much. Label bragging is simple and I'm a complex kidult who can't be bothered with such silliness. So here we go...sans the bag brag.

1.) There's a green pen in there because Langston Hughes always edited in green. I've always loved the color, but upon learning that fact I fell even more in love..and more in love with the Harlem Renaissance for that matter. 2.) Altoids make the MacGyver cut, because I can't stand hideous breath. If I offer you one, please take it. There's nothing spectacularly sexy about halitosis. 3.) I carry a pencil with a cute terd on the tip because it makes me happy and when someone's having a shitty day I can help make it a different, more lovely kind of shitty. 4.) Lather lotion...it's my favorite. Smells good. Feels good. 5.) I found this cute little business card holder a couple of years ago. Makes me feel all 2Legit2Quit...it's filled chalk-a-block full of www.FitBottomedGirls.com cards, too. Don't you love how tiny they are? BTW Jenn, I have to get my new ones that say Mrs. Spider. Don't kill me!

6.) Lather soap for when life gets messy...Who knows when you'll need a quick wash! Mary Poppins would so understand. 7.) Cinnamon tea that sounds like a drug. 8.) Coffee Drops in the house! I try to remain as alkaline as possible, but coffee is an alkaline no no, so I cheat like a muther trucker with these handy dandy pills. The buzz without the acid! 9.) Mark got me these awesome little camera lenses for my iPhone. Damn, that fool knows me! It's for those days when I want to get my Annie Leibovitz on, yo! 10.) Needle and thread. Did I, or did I NOT specify that I was thinking like Mary Poppins and MacGyver up in this piece? 11.)  A ponytail. Do I really need to discuss what I can and can't do with one paperclip, this weapon and a toilet paper roll?


1.) My favorite sunnies. They're just easy. They go with everything. The end. 2.) Poo-Pourri!!!! (Because I'm kind.) God, I love this stuff! 3.)  A book...because I read.


1.) Stamps! I still believe in snail mail, dang it all! 2.) My phone. Perfect for "harries." Check out my Instagram to figure out what those are. 3.) I'm Always fresh. 4.) Toilet paper...You just never know when you'll need to t.p. the shat out of some wankers yard. Plus, my name is Tish...which naturally means my nickname is Tissue...people live up to their names...even the nicknames. Therefore, I blow my nose a lot. Delicate hankies haven't been delivered yet.


1.) Bandages just in case... 2.) In case I cut someone with this weapon of choice...a golden urchin! I daydream of stabbin a stupid, BUT the precious, kind soul I really am would instantly shriek and apologize. Therefore you get a weapon and the antibacterial heavy-duty apology.

And there you have it. A Mary Poppins/MacGyver bag sure to get me through the best of times and the worst of times. I swear Gale, that is my last and final blog challenge. I hope I made you proud.


#HowToBeBlack | My Center for Experimental Blackness

1.13.2014

Can I just say ALL HAIL Baratunde Thurston, a god of excellent thought and friend to awesome folk who know how to break "it" all down so that it can forever be broke!!! (Love Jones quote. Who got that?! Who got it?!)

Barathunde Thurston, How to be black, book review


I picked up this book largely at the recommendation of my wonderful pal, Twinkie. She read and raved and I'm 90% on board with digging what she's found joy in so I said heyyyyyy. (I also secretly wanted to read this book in public and see how the public at large perceived me, a mixed chick, reading a book about being black. Would they react much like they did when I read Malcolm X.

 "What out children she's an angry black woman and she now has a guide book to become even stronger!"

Or...

Would black folk look at me and shake their heads? I have some ignorant ass family and folks who annoyingly buzz in and out of my life who LOVE to point out that I'm not black. Or not black enough. Would these annoying specimens see me and jump to the conclusion that I'm trying to cram for the big "Getting Your Black Card" test?

I never found out. I work from home. I hadn't traveled in a plane or any other mode of public transportation so only my husband and a few on Instagram knew I was reading it. (And the annoying ignorant group of folk who I just described made sure to pipe up. Isn't typical behavior so interesting and fun?!)

The Book Though!

So I laughed my ass off while reading this book. I nodded and agreed wholeheartedly and shouted out, "YES!!!" multiple times. I set up short little school lessons for Mark every time I had one of these moments.

"Okay sit down husband. Today I'm going to tell you about the one chapter where Baratunde told me this awesome trick for being the black friend successfully."

It was fun and informative. Intelligent, but not dense and over my head. I caught myself snapping pictures of passages I enjoyed and wanted to remember. (I check books out from the library...because I support my sister friends who are all awesome librarians and push peeps to use our neighborhood libraries with the quickness.) Otherwise I would have highlighted ish like a normal bookworm.

I shall end with some of my favorite passages:

(Why you shouldn't be the angry black person)

Q: Would you like paper or plastic?
A: As a black woman, I choose paper. Its brownness reminds me of my people. The tree that died so it might hold these heavy groceries is a metaphor for the sufferance of my people. The tree that died so it might hold these heavy groceries is a metaphor for the sufferance of my people, who, for too long, have carried the burden of America's original sin. Its roots run as deep as the blood of my people beneath this so-called nation. [Liberal usage of "so-called" is highly encouraged.]

(Why the idea of a post-racial world is silly and why pretending we're not different is silly, too.)

To not recognize that not only is stupid but it also demeans the experience of those other people. I don't think you can ever achieve cultural understanding by pretending that cultural difference doesn't exist. ~Christian Lander, author of Stuff White People Like

(Why there will always be differences we use to divide us all.)

There was a time in this country when it was a big deal if you were a Catholic. That was a problem. There was at ime in this country when it was a big deal if you were a Jew. Problem. But, you know, you go down the street, you go in to eat in a little place and you're a Catholic, a Jew, who cares? Everybody's marrying each other, making little brown babies that don't know where to go to the church on Friday, Saturday Sunday, so they just be at the club. ~ Derrick Ashong

So if the future is a United States in which race is no longer the primary issue that binds or divides us, then (a) why have you read this far in a book called How to Be Black, and (b) what's the future of blackness in America? 

BET can go suck a dick, flat-out...Call yourself We Like Dumb Shit. Or Ignant TV. I'll accept that. ~Elon James White, comedian 

Also enjoyed the thoughtful conclusions...

Dream bigger. Just be, and the blackness will follow.

Hey I'm going to be. No matter what I do. If I eat sushi and dance and Irish jig, that's black, because I'm doing it." ~ Jacquetta Szathmari, comedian, writer and creator of the one-woman show That's Funny. You Didn't Sound Black on the Phone.

Her | A Spike Jonze Success

1.11.2014
No Spoilers!

I watched Spike Jonze's latest film; Her, a bit ago and I was compelled to write about this artistically awesome, fantastically futuristic fantasia of a film.

The gist: Man (Theodore) in a hipster-perfect, colorful futuristic Los Angeles decides to enter into a relationship with a computer operating system. Yes, sounds geeky, I know. Mark refused to see this flick with me because he couldn't get past the idea of a dude falling for a computer, but I knew if Joaquin Phoenix committed to the film it had to be more than some nerd dude doing unforgivable things to a voice in his laptop. So I went with a friend who was interested in seeing it, too.

I was correct (btw) about the film. Mark's loss. It packed all of the goodness required to make me first swoon and then fall in love with a film. (Queue Computer Love!)

Reasons Why This Film Wins

It was visually stunning. Every time I saw lens light or a solar ray I'd sigh in delight. I loved the skyline shots...I loved ALL THE SHOTS! I could see Spike's background in music videos popping out. He shot a love poem in moving pictures. Well done, good sir! Well done!


The emotional vulnerability was unexpected and enthralling but I can't lie; I was uncomfortable when the film first started. I'm not used to people sharing such honesty...like the raw, beautifully vulnerable feelings that you wish folks would divulge, but never really do. It's films like this that drew me to acting. I love participating...sharing in the honestly that you normally never really experience. People spend more than half of their lives hiding, filtering... This movie poos on filters and demands an intimacy that I haven't seen in film for many, many moons.


THE Amy Adams, Ms. Powerhouse actor extraordinaire. She was simple in the most spectacularly amazing kind of way. I loved every scene she appeared in. In the film she stars as Theodore's neighbor and friend; a plain Jane who's able to captivate the audience with a Hollywood magic that I am so desperately trying to learn. I love her character choices. I love that she chose this woman with this story. 


The love. You know how you watch a movie and you can't figure out how the two leads fell for each other? The love story wasn't rich enough to make believers out of us?...Well this was written by a man CLEARLY in need of professing his love to someone. Possibly Sofia... He spared not a word or sentiment. I loved every word Spike wrote for Theodore and Samantha (that would be the computer operating system) I saw them fall in love. I heard them fall in love. I felt them fall in love. He thought of everything. He got everything! This is clearly a man who's gone to therapy and knows how to use his words. 

{All photos from IMDB}

I wanted more. Lots and lots more. It's been hours since I've left the theater, but my mind is still spinning with all ideas; how I feel about people and technology...people disconnecting from human interaction (as I sit here typing on my computer.)

A friend recently asked her Siri if she was "Her" and Siri had a great reaction. We're almost there y'all...almost.



Method Man Said...

1.07.2014
Because all great posts start out with that sentence!

Method Man said, "We can make war or make babies..."

Because I'm allergic to guns...and killing I'm gonna go with babies. BABIES!!! We're actually thinking of babies, y'all! It's the year of the actor and hopefully the year of the baby spider, too!

Don't start squealing. Read that last paragraph again. We're THINKING of babies. I haven't been knocked up...yet, BUT we are starting to do all of that really good stuff you're supposed to do when you're letting the idea sink in; we're freaking out, worrying, squealing, then freaking out again.

I know we're not supposed to talk about that stuff publically, but that's stupid. It's alllll good. It could take us a looong time or it could happen with the quickness of a Mary Poppins' snap. In the meantime I need to talk about this stuff! We've made the decision that we want to start earlier than later. I could wait until after my acting career has started, but we all know that could take a little bit longer and why not share it all with a wee one?! Couldn't think of a reason not to, but lots of reasons why so...Baby spider time!

Don't worry my fellow kidult, friends. I'm still a kidult and always will be! I'm seriously hella scared! I love kids. I really do! (Some of my greatest friends are kids.) And I really dig babies, but I enjoy feeling like I'm still 14, too. I'm keeping it real and sharing because I'm about to explode from all the fear and questions and concerns and ish and playing mum is just a practice I never understood.

Remember how I had that cruel doc who told me I wasn't ready to go off of anti-depressants? Well after getting a new doc (a female with a heart) I got off! I've been off for four months now! FOUR! I'm feeling great and balanced...It's a blessing I tell you. For anyone who knows what that darkness is like...those people know the joy I have that I'm off the happy pill and still happy. Hallelujah!

So here's to the Year of the Spider, too. Funny that I'm deathly terrified of the buggers...fitting because I'm terrified of a baby growing inside of me, too.



No more of these! Woo hoooooo! 

I'm getting your song ready little one...

I've Got Dreams To Remember

1.06.2014




This director I follow on Instagram posted a message about not asking, not dreaming, not hoping; just doing.

I'm not gonna lie. I took it a bit personal. (Total ego since she has NO clue who I am!) This town, this business...well, it's all about hopes and dreams. Until someone shows me the door you walk through to start the whole physically doing portion of the plan then this is what I've got.

I attended my first acting workshop of the new year Saturday. It felt good. I had a couple great moments...and some bad ones that I was able to sniff out while in the process of performing. Sometimes I can't get with the scene: I can't understand what's happening or I just can't relate for whatever stubborn reason. I'm human and I know my limitations, but I also know I'm damn good when I do "get it." That was a beautiful moment when I accepted and embraced that I'm good.

I'm damn good at this. It's the Year of the Actor, damn it! My year!

I'll be prepared when the magic comes. Hope some of you Luv and Kiwi veteran readers will be there when it happens. Here we go!

Twenty Fourteen

1.01.2014



...And here it is...the first day of a brand new year.

I've always thought it a bit weird that one day marks a new beginning. It seems so forced. I never write the new year correctly until at least February. I haven't made any resolutions this year, either. I don't resolve to thinking I have control over anything, but I do have hopes and dreams that follow me into this magically odd transition. I swear people act as though there's this tangible door you close on 2013 and you never have to think about or deal with anything from that era of time again. 2013 (please forgive the metaphor I'm about to use!) is like a good toot. You may have let it go back at the corner of such-and-such street, but its remnants are following behind you.

This is why I have to apologize for the fart part. 2013 wasn't stinky. I actually was sad to see it go. So many wonderful things happened. There were some kinks for sure, but they're not sticking to my usually grudge-y self. Instead all the good moments just keep popping up. I'm nostalgic and a bit sad that it sped on by.

2013 was the year of Mish. Therefore, entonces, Ipso facto I loved it and then some. Farewell and damn you, Father Time. Stop with that crack fast speed stuff!

I'm not scared of 2014 by any means. The hope above is legit. Just had to get out one last love letter to the year that defined a totally wicked chapter.


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