Auditions are coming in; flowing like I finally hit the fire hydrant hard enough...my days are exploding with scripts to memorize, places to get to in 30 minutes...it's nerve wrecking, vomit-inducing, stress and I love EVERY.MOMENT.
I'm really trying to remain present. I'm really trying to savor every moment and just squeeze love into every second of every minute and thank God for the now, but like in true Tishy fashion, I jump ahead and wonder if this will continue. I get scared that I get these surges and then it'll go away again. That maybe this isn't the beginning of the good stuff. Then I smack myself and get back to loving it NOW. I'm all about the NOW. Today's now was awesome. (See how I just can't remain present? Jeez Tish!) I rushed from audition to audition while hearing texts come in from my agent "New audition! New audition!" and then I'm memorizing new lines and figuring out this and that and if I can manage...and I start to hope that I'll book like crazy and then I want to cry I'm so happy and in it...in it like I always wanted to be.
Is this when it happens? When I start to lose hope? When I start to question the dream? Funny how life does that. Months ago I saw this woman and some famous actors in a park where Mark was teaching bootcamp. I stared for a bit and then got back to work helping the group, but I remember vividly how bad I wanted to be playing with that group...and then days later I was playing on facebook and found one of the girls who was filming in the park. I wrote her just to say it was spooky that I had just seen her...and she befriended me kindly and I've stalked her since then. I watched her give birth to a baby...work on a movie she had written...bake...I watched it all and then I started reading her blog and boom! I found this video she posted of Shonda Rhimes that made me pause and listen with the kind of intensity reserved for a good Game of Thrones wedding.
I share it with you. I thank Brandi for her blog and for the example she shares with the world. Good things are coming. Bunk winter.