"You Look Weak On Paper, Dude"

3.21.2014
Have I ever mentioned that I work from home full time? Yeah, I'm able to do that which TOTALLY helps a whole lot with auditioning and my inability to focus for long periods of time at a desk located in a cube with a florescent light that sucks my will to live.

All that to say I'm able to have people over to co-work with me from time to time. I have a great pal who freelances and is able to journey over the hill occasionally to spend the day with me. It totally breaks up the monotony. I have some one to talk to other than myself...It's divine.

So she came up yesterday and we got to talking about Linked In. A fire was lit under my butt and I started tinkering around with the site; updating my profile and all that hoo haw.

What I found out: I look totally sucky on paper! I've been half assing my day jobs because I've always believed acting would happen. Except today was the first time I was actually scared that maybe it's not such a great idea neglecting those other eggs in those other baskets.

I swear when I have these panic attacks I think of Julia Roberts. Did Julia ever have to worry if her health insurance job skills were sub par? NO! Did she worry that her other skills outside of acting weren't good enough to keep her afloat? Help her earn a decent living? NO! I see all of these talented, snazzy looking people (even actors, screenwriters and directors) on that darn site and I start to freak that I'm not doing enough.

How can I do more in acting?! I'm auditioning when they come in. I'm not currently in weekly acting classes. I frequent a workshop when I can. I can't write, direct and produce my own stuff and I'm honestly not interested in pursuing that path. I'm just a novice actor missing a clue. This is me being honest. Does it mean I'm not worthy? That I won't make it? I hope not.

Missing a big flippin clue...

But this gives me a glimmer of hope.


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