Mercury Retrograde

11.04.2013
It all started when my cell phone starting clunking out; totally on the fritz...

Mark and I had THE weirdest weekend and I'm totally going to chalk it all up to mercury retrograde. Don't know what that is? Too hippity dippity for you? Here's a great description I pulled off the web. So now that you get all that could possibly go wrong you can begin to understand why I chose THE PERFECT craziest time to punk my husband for a nationally televised show. (Until we're given the clear I'm not allowed to discuss the show's title or what happened specifically.)

I can say however that the prank I chose totally flipped his wig and left him contemplating my sanity and our marriage. I laugh now, but when he started to walk me through the feelings he experienced at the time of the event I began to cry because I learned just how serious he was about leaving my behind. HE WAS GOING TO LEAVE ME, Y'ALL! Once this bad boy airs I'm going to come back to this post. I'm going to remind you all to watch and then let it sink in that he was going to divorce me...just so you know it's not a hoax or staged. lol...I sacrificed for those pranks I pulled, man!

Lesson: Do not prank your husband during mercury retrograde if your husband isn't aware that during mercury retrograde your wife or significant other can and will act strange.

Noted.

So where does that leave us? Cell phone on the fritz...husband seriously freaked out by weird wife...oh yes! Weird communication. So yeah we were lunching with some pals of ours who have a sweet young cherub who I lovingly refer to as 'Smush'. I was holding Smush as we walked in to get seated and this dynamic personality of a man walked up to me and the baby and started gushing over her. (Gush over Smush...hee hee) He mentioned that he was this crazy important writer in Hollywood. I took one look at my husband and magically communicated with him silently that I was totally about to pimp myself. And I did. I told him I was an actor and if he ever needed a fun actress to work with to hit me up. Hey! I can do table readings! He paused. Looked me dead in the eye and said, "You shouldn't be doing that. You should have representation who does that for you. Do you have representation?"

I said yes.

"Well who are your represented by? They should be doing that for you."

I was a bit taken a back but laughed it off and said I'd make sure to tell my agent that. (If you're presented with a chance connection with someone do you not take it?! My agent handles a LOT of different folks...I don't expect her to pimp me while she's eating lunch.)

So I sat down a bit weirded out, but I was with friends and a cute baby so I just shrugged it off. That is until him and his dining partner started talking about me LOUDLY.

"She was so rude...why would she do that?" (said the girl he was with.)

"I don't know, but she shouldn't be. She needs representation. She's a beautiful girl, but still..."

My friends and I sat there in total shock. We whispered back and forth, "Is this dude really talking about me?!"

YES! Yes he was! His communication wasn't as great as we would have hoped. Loud and unfiltered. I felt soooo uncomfortable! Ugh!!! You all have no idea!

Later he came back over and gave his email address and his agent at The William Morris Agency...THE biggest and best agency in the biz. I know you're thinking I should have crumpled up that piece of paper and gone about my day, but this is Hollywood!!! You DO whatever it takes and you NEVER burn bridges. lol

I'm not a casting catch entrepreneur, but I will take a little Hollywood snottiness and unfiltered uncomfortable conversation if it gets me through important doors! Shoooooooooot. I'm an actress with a dream. I held the back of a large cardboard display as my idols walked on the other side posing for the red carpet. I have no pride or shame left.

BUT...I will not be contacting him until after this damn mercury retrograde is over and done with! Come November 10th I'll be on that piece of paper like a Kardashian to a camera flash!

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