Consistency

11.21.2013
I haven't been the most consistent lately...

I've been battling the dream beasts and reading this phenomenally, totally wickedly cool book. Both kept me away from the computer and reality for that matter.

First the book! Ready Player One is soooo good! I totally had a 14 year old geek moment with Mark last night about this story. It hooks you from the very beginning. I haven't been this hooked on a book since Hunger Games. While Hunger Games was totally a let down once I hit book two though, this ish is just keeps getting better and better. I love books that do that...the kind that hook you fast and fill your mind with nothing but book plots, words and ideas. When I'm not reading the book I'm twitching a bit. (It's that kind of good.)

The other distraction or whatever you want to call it is the whole acting thing. I finally got up the courage to ask a friend who's in the industry (doing quite well for himself) if he'd be willing to help me get an interview with a big talent agency here in town. I have an agent, but she's a commercial agent. She can't and won't help me ever land a film and since that's what I want from this good ole world then I have to keep pushing ahead.

Pushing ahead...do you know how exhausting that is? Eight years out here basically running around in little circles. It's frustrating to no end. Ironically it makes it hard for me to apply myself  because I've hit so many dead ends. Oddly enough, it was someone else's dead end that lit a fire under my keister. An old friend from acting classes found Mark and I's wedding pictures randomly while searching for something else. He emailed me to catch up and send congratulations and we began to chat. Turns out he put acting aside, moved to New York and is now working on a new creative project outside of the industry.

It was a shock because this guy was SO amazing in class. He's got that kind of intensity that you expect from an Al Pacino...without the shouting. (wink) This is where good actors' dreams go to die...they give up because of how stupid hard this shat is. Never mind that they're incredibly talented. I got scared hearing his change of plans. I know he's happy and totally cool with his decision, but I internalized that move with the quickness.

I could see myself shaking my head no as I saw a door that read, "Exit" and I wasn't, no way no how, gonna walk through it. That's the difficult rub. This is torture. Being helpless and lost, but knowing I can't give up. It's the proverbial rock and hard place scenario.

I wrote my friend. I wrote that director. Help me God, PLEASE allow those reaches to lead to something!

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