They Make My Ass Twitch

10.17.2013
“There is no coming to consciousness without pain. People will do anything, no matter how absurd, in order to avoid facing their own Soul. One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light, but by making the darkness conscious.” ~ C.G. Jung 

This is my biggest pet peeve...and thus my greatest fault with relationships. I will put my darkest moments...the secrets, the confessions and the dark deeds on the table and expect others to do the same. I wait for them to admit when they've done wrong...I throw my hand around my ear; anticipate the moment when I'll hear, "My bad," but that ish never comes and I get nasty grumpy. Boy do I ever!

I'm aware as a writer of a very personal blog that I'm gonna get personal. It's fine and dandy when it's about me, but complaining about others is pretty off limits. Even I, the queen of openness, knows I can't go there. (anymore...hee hee) So I write a fairly vague piece that satisfies all parties. (If only everything were so easy!)

So here's my vague rant that makes my ass twitch. I can't stand it when I'm sharing my honesty...throwing it all out on the table; my insecurities, my failings, my faults and then the other person continues to live in the Land of Stupid Disillusions. (Yes, that land exists. I believe it's off the 101 freeway.) Why did I just share that? What point did it serve? I mean I don't mind being honest? I really don't. I'll admit in a heartbeat when I'm being a brat (or worse), stingy, nosy, conniving, dastardly....now I'm just having fun with words. It doesn't hurt me to share and be open. The part that makes me twitch is that space of confusion....that moment in time when I wonder why the person was so eager for me to share and then not reciprocate? I can't dance around lies. I hate pretending like I believe in what you're dishing out. If someone isn't being honest with themselves and others I tend to flee. 

I could exist in a negative space and just swim in all that frustration, but I'm trying to be a better human being for my new husband and the friends and family who deserve some free Tishy. So here's the plan I've come up with...Hopefully it works! I'm just shooing away such people. I accept that they're a different breed and I'm choosing to remove them from my life. That's hard...a pretty gangster move to achieve actually, but it's necessary.

Life is so short and fleeting. My father passed away when I was very young. Since then I've always been a bit morbid...I tell people I love them on the regular because I think to myself deep down, "They could die soon." Because of this limited-time believe I hold I'm not going to waste anytime pretending with someone. I'll continue my relationships with the honest ones and go about my business.

I'll let you know how this goes. You'd be surprised how many people freak out and get pissy that you don't want to frolic in their lies anymore. 



1 comments:

  1. That gif is hilarious and good luck with the plan. I think it's a good one...sometimes we grow out of friendships or change and there is no point continuing something that doesnt make us happy or makes us feel good. xoxo

    ReplyDelete

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