Second Opinions

"Today is the day for second opinions and kick ass auditions."

That's what I wrote on my Friday Facebook post. I haven't heard from the audition folks, BUT I did get a beautiful second opinion that I think I'm ready to talk about.

It all begins with a doctor and his blank stares...

For the last three years I've seen a doc who's been prescribing me anti-depressants. Everything's been going swimmingly. I've maintained energy and perspective. I made it through wedding planning in one whole piece. I've been lucky that I found something that works for me. I asked him last year if we could start tapering off meds (#1 because the plan had always been communicated to me that I'd only need to try them out for two years and see if they had rebooted my brain synapses and #2 because we wanted to try for a family sooner than later.) The doc advised against going off meds right before a wedding. I respected his opinion because all of my close friends had warned that it would be stressful and nerve wracking...some had even had to get medication to help them through the wedding time. I respected and trusted his judgement. That is until after I was married, back from the honeymoon and ready to start talking about when would be the best time to go off. The doc cut me off and said, "You're not ready." Scribbled my normal dosage on a pad and scooted me out his door. I was honestly too shocked and confused to ask why he thought I wasn't ready.

I went out for dinner with a friend; kept it all in, but the minute I got home in front of Mark I lost it...big tears of hurt. I just felt like some crazy nut job that needed to listen to my smart doctor and shut up. I felt like I had no control or say over my body and my life choices. Needless to say that was a really hard night.

I spoke to my best gal pal that weekend and her beautiful, gangster, fiery attitude helped bring me out of the hurt. I needed a second opinion like a pimp needed a cane. So I reached out to the lovely Dooce Community (like I always do for such matters) and found some tips on the kind of doctor I should be looking for. I found her. I saw her last Friday and Poof! She told me I indeed was ready to start tapering...that I should at least see how I do off of anti-depressants and if it's too much I could always try something that wasn't harmful to wee babes. The clouds parted. The sun came through. I may have sung; Opera-style.

So I'll start that soon. It's going to be an interesting and scary adventure, but I'm willing to try. I share because I know there are more women out there like me...and because EVERYONE keeps asking me when we're having babies. We're up for making some whackapinos for sure! (White, Black, Filipino kiddies.)  We just have to do it right and carefully.

2013 is definitely the year for bravery. That's for darn skippy!

anti-depressants, boot camp, psychiatrists specializing in women's health and reproduction
 {Photo Credit: My bud E...sent with the tag "A sneak peek at your future"}


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