The Nightmares Have Begun

I remember when J was getting married she'd tell me about all the weird nightmares she'd have about the wedding. I went the whole year of being engaged without a single nightmare and then BAM! last night I had two of those bad boys.

The first involved my groom. I was at the salon getting my hair did and in walks this white boy with blond hair and blue eyes and everyone's saying he's my groom. I'm totally confused. I have NO clue who this dude is so I speak up and say I can't marry him. I don't even know him. I'm telling my friends and family and they're all stressed because they've flown's the day of the wedding and I'm waiting until that moment to realize I don't know this bloke. That one still jacks with me...especially since I gave this stranger my ring to...still not sure where Jersey was, yo.

The second nightmare involved my registry. A friend had gotten us these pink plastic mugs. That is all. In the dream I had wanted them so I was happy. Of course it woke me up because who in their right mind would want pink frosted mugs? Not I! Weirdo I am...

So my brain is finally being honest and saying, "Yeah, wedding planning isn't for the weak of heart. This ish is HAWD and stressful." My face broke out months ago and I've never really recovered from the explosions, but I was still trying to stand by the notion that it had nothing to do with wedding stress. I just randomly developed prepubescent acne around the same time I started wedding planning. Nope. I'm stressed. Just want this ish to be over with already.

Wedding's in September...Most of everything is ordered. We're stressing about the numbers, the costs of everything. (Never thought I'd actually care about the things I'm forced to care about right paper lanterns) The whole damn thing makes my ass twitch. All these folks were telling me I just HAD to have a wedding...that I would regret a courthouse ceremony. Hmph! Ha! That justice of the peace is looking sooo nice right now.

Waiting for the joy to kick in. Waiting for the girly in me to go gaga over this ish. Right now I just feel like scratching my imaginary balls and giving the middle finger to the TLCs of the world that have made the wedding business an obnoxious boob of a beast.


  1. The last line made me laugh out loud! Giggle...oh boy, I know the feeling...but it will be soon over and everything can go back to normal:) Happy Monday, darling.

    1. LOL Happens to be my favorite line as well ;) Happy Monday indeed lady!


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