For a long time now I've been heavy hearted. It's been all over this blog..I'ts all I could talk to with friends and family...the negativity that was perverting my life that I just couldn't shake.
I don't know why I was given the break I received. I don't know what I did to deserve it, but I asked the big guy upstairs if he would truly help me be strong enough to get through the drama in one piece. I seriously asked that on Friday...then this weekend...well blessing after blessing started coming in and it just keeps coming. These blessings haven't all been easy to receive, but blessings they were.
First blessing...I went to Pasadena for my monthly eyebrow wax. For those who read often "Pasadena Days" are sacred in the house of kiwi. I come out of that place zenning like no other. Well, this time I just felt this wave of something good rush over me that I couldn't explain. I asked Senaida, my healer chick, to walk with me to get coffee. We saw the numbers 333 written on the sidewalk and I asked her about it. Turns out she sees that series of number all the time...on clocks, walls...so when I got home I looked it up for her. Turns out when you see 333 it means that higher powers (aka angels) are with you leaving you messages. When I sent her the text explaining what 333 symbolizes and what that meant for her she thanked me. Little did I know that it would also mean that I had some angels looking out for me as well.
The rest of my Saturday was great. I went out to eat with my gal pal, Glenda, and we laughed the night away at a great little spot in Culver City. Then Sunday rolled around... a spiritual day for many and boy did I get the spirit!
More blessings...A friend I'd rather not name right now was seriously sent to me from God to help me through all the terrible stuff I've been dealing with. She helped me see why I couldn't seem to dodge the negativity dancing all around me. She helped reveal an honest to goodness (and might I add scary ass) wolf in sheep's clothing. All the dots were connected. I started to replay scenes from fights and awkward moments and suddenly the bad seed came into focus and I was appalled and horrified. That replay was needed, though. I now know why there was this crazy bad stuff brewing and never fizzling out. Now that I know, I know it will stop and I am so relieved. It's been a looooong time of nasty. I see my part in getting sucked into the nasty. I see. I see. I see.
333...miracles...eye-openings...shame...understanding...peace...understanding... rinse, repeat.
Anger is such a wasted emotion. I'm sad I wasted so much time on it but I have learned such a valuable lesson about myself. I have so much apologizing to do to my friends and family who have been with me on this crazy ride. I'm happy to report it's over...for good over. This blog of mine should get really lighter and happier real soon. Are you as relieved as I am?!