Power in the Peace

I wasn't ready to write...I've been going through some really hard, painful friendship issues that have affected me to my core. I've felt really vulnerable, exposed, betrayed...all the gnarly stuff that isn't the time or the place considering I'm getting married in three months. THREE MONTHS.

But I've had some pretty fantastic people send me some strength, love and encouragement lately. Yesterday Jersey and I went to my cousin Sheli's place for a roof top party and had a great time laughing and catching up with friends. One of my favorite souls was there; a gal I haven't seen in ages named Ocean. She's a Kiwi (New Zealander) with a dazzling smile and an electric personality. I swear to God I wasn't sharing my pains and current worries...I've been bottling those bad boys up in the most unhealthy of ways, but right as we were leaving she grabbed me for a hug and whispered in my ear that she reads my blogs...had wanted me to know that there's something wonderful about how honest and open I am.

I've felt really down lately. Someone's done a good job of smearing my name and throwing me in a box reserved for the not so nice people and I'm way too sensitive to ignore it. I take great pride in my kindness and openness. I feel the bad energy being slung my way and it's heavy and hard to carry. Every night I've been praying for those wishing ill will towards me...sending them light. It was good to hear that not everyone is looking to catch something bad or negative in me. I needed that break. I needed someone to see me for who I am and what I know. Yeah...I know I should be strong enough to ignore those who have it wrong, but when push comes to shove we put trust and faith in our closest friends so when the closest friends throw us to the wind it's hard to suddenly turn your feelings off.

I needed her words...and Jersey's hilarious tipsy talks with our favorite Brit Andy...and my cousin's beautiful smile and strongly mixed cocktails...and Emma and her Poppy...I needed yesterday's Memorial roof top party and all the happiness and joy that came with it.


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