Just Pushing On

I used to take acting classes on Saturday that this dreamy guy hosted for folks who just needed to be out there doing something with their talent. (He was the guy from Beyonce's "If I Were a Boy" video. Crazy talented...works hard, dreams big. My kind of actor.)


 He wrote this beauitfully, honest email to the group about how hard it is and it felt so frickin' good to read words that my heart's been trying to verbalize for the longest time now.

"Man I tell ya, I feel like my life is on a treadmill right now. Expending a lot of energy and still in the same place. I only share this with you, not for sympathy, but to let those of you who struggle and have been in a funk here and there know that I share your pain. I'm so frustrated. And I've looked at this situation in my life when it really seems like it sucks over and over, and the only answer, the ONLY answer other than quitting (which is not an option and doing anything else would really make me miserable) is to keep thinking and keep working. That's as intelligent as the answer gets. Let's get it."

I was driving yesterday and this feeling of disappointment just rolled on over me. All the auditions and callbacks and the waiting and the hoping. Some days I laugh it all off and tell myself this is just part of the process...one of the hardest steps, but other days...sigh, well other days like today are sucky. Then I read this...

I am constantly wondering if this is gonna happen and when. I have a community of people who get this. It's why I wrote that damn book from so long ago. I wanted others like me to know they're not alone and this weird funk we all share is okay, because we're going after something so brilliantly hard. Too bad that book won't get published until I'm a "somebody". For now hopefully others like me just read blogs like this and have tiny moments of relief.


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