Friendship 101...Again

1.03.2013
Always learning...always.

So 2012 was the year of tumultuous friendships. A rather sad situation I must say. For some reason I just mucked up the waters and had to do the work to repair the relationships I valued and deemed important.

I am still working.

I still believe not everyone should make the cut. Sometimes it's good to weed out the weird to make room for the positively delightful.  Friendships take work after all.  I'm trying to learn how to be a good friend, but most importantly be a good friend to myself so that I loosen the slack on the expectations I've created for others.

Reasons for the friendly focus? Well there was this article and then there was my play sis. Distance...assumptions...weird ass ish just made us both absolutely silly. She assumed and then I assumed then she was shocked to learn that I didn't believe I was important in her life...So many insecurities and negative thoughts. I don't know what catalyst got us to open up and discuss our feelings, but we did and things are on the mend.

Sometimes I forget this blog is supposed to be a journal...it's where I air out my dirty laundry and collect my thoughts...work through stuff. Jersey hasn't come home freaking out about something I've written in quite some time, which means I'm not doing my job. My writing's gotten safe and impersonal. So when something's on my mind I'll have to remember this is a safe space (motioning to my computer and its space.)

Truth: I am grown. I got lucky with finding my best friend at 14 and keeping her, but that luck isn't widespread. Most friendships take work, man. They require me to actually talk on the phone (something I really don't like to do. I'm becoming a weird kind of hermit.) They require me to get out and do stuff...travel even.

Trying to balance my lackadaisical nature with friend energy. Wish me luck.


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