Christmas Eve 2012

12.24.2012
It's Christmas Eve, but it sure doesn't feel like it! I'm working because for the first time since I moved out here I will not be spending the holidays with family.

Jersey and I have been saving all of our vacation days up just in case we were chosen for that Knot contest. We found out on Friday we will not be one of the couples you can vote for, though so all this work while everyone else is off roasting chestnuts sucks balls.

This is how it went down...

Jersey came home sicker than a dog so I put him to bed, got him boxes of tissues, Lysol, cold meds and juice and then started cleaning and disinfecting the house. I paused for a bit to check my email and that's when I found it...the email from the Knot folks stating they had gotten submissions from hundreds of couples and we just weren't sweet or tragic enough to make the cut.

I just plopped onto a chair and sighed. I texted my mom and facebooked the world and that's when it happened. People kept saying weddings are no big thing...that eloping is totally fine. Even my mom suggested we should hit up the courthouse and my heart broke into a million little pieces when I realized that my dream wedding was every one else's nightmare.

People kept telling me weddings are no big thing...that they're just a waste of money, yet EVERY married couple I know has had a beautiful one that they loved. Weddings are there for a reason. It's a day where you get to celebrate and have fun...a day out of the ordinary. I hear no every day, all day. I've heard no my whole life dang it so for once I just wanted to have a girly moment...a day where we get to walk into a party as husband and wife for the first time and shake our bums into the night. I'm sick of feeling stupid for wanting that.

I've had the whole weekend to cry and come to terms with reality. We will more than likely be cancelling the wedding idea and just going for a courthouse trip. No white dress, no first dance, no friends and family there to witness the happy occasion. This is not a fun realization being that today is Christmas Eve.

2012...you were a very hard year and I am not sad to see you go.

4 comments:

  1. I'm sorry to hear you won't be getting the wedding you wanted. I also went to a courthouse to get married and I wore a wedding dress to boot. My friends who had also been married in a courthouse told me their only regret was not wearing the dress they wanted, so they encouraged me to wear a gown even though we couldn't afford the shindig to go with it. Whatever you guys decide, congratulations, merry christmas, and happy holidays.

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    1. I love that idea actually...It's growing on me :)

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  2. Hi! I stumbled upon your blog when I was searching for other contestants for the contest. If it makes you feel any better, at least you had gotten spotlighted (loved your video, btw) as my fiance and I were not. I'm very upset for the very same reasons you are as I also wanted that really girly moment and that amazing feeling of walking into the thunderous applause of friends and family as we came out! I'm actually very upset that the two of you weren't chosen because even though I wasn't even remotely considered, you two definitely should have been in the running.

    Hope Christmas treated you both well and here's to hoping next year is a better one!

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    1. Hi Cait! I feel you! I'm glad someone else is in the same boat as us. I swear you either have to be a film student and know how to sell it via camera-style or you have to have some totally tragic story. You can't just be a normal person who just can't fathom $30,000 being a 'reasonable' amount of money to spend on a day. Hugs for the both of us! Stay in touch. Love to hear what you both end up doing!

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