Wedding Beast is Taking OVA

Not really, but I write about all the ish I go through and lately wedding party brain is in full effect. So pardon me if it pops up from time to time. It will be less than a year of gibber jabber and then you shall never have to hear about it again...Plus, who wouldn't want to witness the slow descent of a rookie planning boob!

Latest? We're on the prowl for a venue. What the freak is up with all this stupid pressure? I feel like I need to dress up and do a happy dance for these nuts. Do I need to dress up?! Will they venue people like us?! Will they be mean and try to make the day Carrie Part III? I'm allergic to pig's blood!!!

I don't know about any of this stuff. I have a friend who has graciously volunteered to help me plan. She's a guru PR exec who does this ish in her gangsta SLEEP so I'm pretty excited about that...what I'm not excited about is making her feel like Kunta...which is what I was TOTALLY planning on doing to the wedding planner I was going to hire. Why? Not because I'm cruel (I'm a gentle soul damn it!) but because I don't DO wedding ish. I don't know how...I don't even know if I want to know how so I fully expect to be like nod yes or shake no and that's about it.

I don't DO girl, remember? I don't know the importance of ambviance and lighting. The questions I'd ask on a possible wedding day (in my mind): Does it stink? Did I step in gum? Is the steak rubberlicious? Are the strippers bothering my dad again? What? Huh?

So yeah...I feel like we're dating the vendors. Is it okay to be little, cheap-as-hell us and still walk away unscathed without jizz or spit in our food come party day?

Courting vendors is stressful!


  1. Tish, You can do this! I know the inner-girl in there is just waiting to get out. You already have the first thing done: you know what type of wedding you want. While I had the perfect wedding in my head, that vision was put to the dumps because, uh, surprise, my parents didn't offer me $50,000 like I thought they would. So, I made it a game to have a $50,000 wedding in our budget. I love bargain shopping and this was the ultimate bargain shop! Think outside the box. We used a local restaurant chain for catering and saved $$$$. I know a girl who had Pizza Hut cater with pasta. I also saw a cool thing on TV where this bride had a local fashion design student design and sew her bridesmaid dresses. So cool! Plus, you have Pinterest!!! Do you know how awesome your wedding is going to be because of Pinterest? Awesomesauce! You also have friends who will live vicariously through you. And yes, vendor shopping is like dating. The good vendors had me stripping down naked on the first


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