Holy Matrimonial Moobs!


As lots of our friends found out yesterday, Jersey did the unthinkable...

He was able to fool me--Supreme People Reader and Nosiest person IN THE WORLD--into thinking Sunday would just be any other day in Middle Earth. Turns out it was P Day...(proposal day for all the non-gangstas in the house.)

So get this. Jersey is a HUGE frickin basketball nut. He played in high school...plays on leagues now so basketball is pretty much his first boo. He used this knowledge against me. We had planned to go home for my great grandmother's 100th birthday for quite some time so hanging all weekend with J and her husband sounded completely normal. He asked if we could go to this college basketball hall of fame spot in the Sprint Center before getting on our plane. I, of course, said yeah because a.)my old beloved city is hella cool AND the bee's knees for having that and b.) I can't keep that boy from that damn orange ball for nothing.

So we went to my grandmother's birthday party. He met my whole extended family on my father's side (he loves them by the way...says they remind him of the McDowell family from Coming to America...now you KNOW that warmed my heart! "That boy is good! He real good!")

I went up in front of my family and gave a speech about how important it was for the guy I loved to meet the family that marked my behind. (I look like the women on that side of the family...I act like my father I'm told so it was an emotional time.) Jersey, meanwhile, is just sitting there smiling casually like nothing is out of the ordinary. He's not unusually mushy or anything! Dude KNEW I'd catch on to that ish! Perfectly chill on the outside...inside homeboy said he was about to go insane.


We all wake up, put on our gym clothes, guzzle down yummy smoothies and head to the college basketball place. J has her big fancy Nikon with her and I think nothing of it....WHY?! Because I document the ISH out of EVERYTHING and they KNEW I wouldn't think twice. She said we were gonna cover this for FBG and I totally believed her. We got inside...I had the big camera and I'm just shooting away at stuff while they're all secretly laughing that I'm documenting my own frickin proposal.

We play a bunch of games and then move to the big court and all of us just start spastically shooting. I notice two employees in that dang place and think nothing of it. One has an iPad and I think she's doing something with the score boards or something. There's also a photographer and I think he's just doing his thing; taking pictures of the new court.

Then it happens...and as you will see I have NO FLIPPING CLUE what's going on. In fact, I'm actually perturbed with Jersey for not picking up his ball. Listen for how many times I tell him to pick up his ball.

I'm not completely cruel. There were kids in the arena so I didn't get why he was being so touchy-feely with me...and I couldn't kiss his behind because I developed a GIANT fever blister that morning. Good timing? Sexy? You bet! I looked a hot mess, stunk like a pig in heat but, it was still THE perfect hoodwink in the history of Tish hoodwinks.

Like I said..."That boy is good! He real good!"



J knew about this ish! My parents knew! All of Jersey's gym family knew...okay so EVERYONE knew but me. I hate being the one out of the know lol...I just butt twitch all over the place at all of you who knew and were able to keep it all away from me. I applaud you, too.

Love my peoples and my guy!

PS "Ass" is totally my term of endearment.

Jersey's coworker broke into our joint and had these waiting for us when we got home. Pimp

Sprinkles will put little engagement rings on your cupcakes yo!


  1. I love your line of: you did it HERE?!?!
    So adorable, both of you.


    I love the way you were looking at him at first like: What are you doing? Get off me, weirdo. LOL.

    I'm so mad that I cannot hug you right now!!!! And Mark too. I know I don't know him like that but I want to hug that boy so tightly that he can't breathe.

    I love you both! There isn't a big enough font for how large I want to write CONGRATULATIONS!!!

  3. You got hoodwinked big time! Congratulations again! I'm so, so happy for you two!

  4. Oh that so made me tear! Absolutely the sweetest thing to pull off the surprise with your BFF there too!! Congrats to you and your ring is beautiful!!!

  5. Now, THAT was the sweetest thing! I'm so happy for you both!

  6. Now, THAT was the sweetest thing! I'm so happy for you both!

  7. Awww, what a sweet and awesome proposal. You both look utterly happy. Wishing you much, much joy and "luv"!

  8. Congratulations!!! I'm thrilled for you! So is Thing 2- he watched the video of your proposal with me. ;)

  9. Ahhh I just got giddy when you mentioned Thing 2 lol.

    My goddaughter said I owe her money for everytime I said 'ass' in that video (blushing)


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