I had plans to wake up early Sunday morning, go for a run, get some great coffee and see a movie by myself. The perfect solo date day...but instead I didn't sleep at all Saturday night. Every slight movement sent me into hysterics; ripping me from my sleep and causing me to cry out in pain. I've never felt pain like this before. (It was like I was channeling Frida Kahlo...that kind of pain.)
I laid in bed, awake and scared for about four hours and then finally got up the nerve to get up and head downstairs so that I could let Brigid in. She brought me Aleve and company (for which I'm eternally grateful) and helped me calm down.
I'm depressed as shat. I have an audition today that I'm pretty sure is going to take all my willpower to prepare for and then get to.
This has sent me for a long loop. I'm so disappointed and frustrated with my body. Upset that I can't just walk around like I want to...Pissed OFF that I can't even pick up a plate without wincing...raged the heck out that this crap is interfering with my acting dreams.
Jersey comes home on Wednesday and I don't feel like I've done a good job of making him proud...I've proven that I'm not so good at being independent and comfortable with just myself. I was hoping while he was gone I'd get out and explore my city...show him and myself that I'm a big girl but alas, all I've done is show that I had WAY too big of a crush on Sheila E as a kid.
I sat in that Pound class hitting the shat out of those drum sticks, bending over for a good hour like I had the body of a teenager.
If anything good came from this ailment it's that I'll never regret drumming lessons. I picked the right dream for realz!
|Bringing sexy to the back|