Dress Beautifully

6.21.2012
I'm so excited that acting classes are done until the fall.

Yeah, I get that I'm supposed to love them up and want to take them every day, but memorizing takes up a lot of time (when I have more than one performance per class) and it takes it out of me emotionally. Last time I had this powerful moment that left me empty...like every tear was squeezed out of me and then an imaginary elephant pushed on my heart until every last feeling was expunged from my chest. I was an emotional zombie for days.

You could have told me the saddest story ever told and I would have just looked at you with a blank stare. It would have been like that!

Anyways, I'm happy I get a break from all that, but most especially I'm glad I get time before I have to do the unthinkable. Have I mentioned before that my acting coach is magical? That she can see inside your soul and tell you things about yourself you've never told anyone? It only takes her seconds, too. She sizes you up and then proceeds to tell you in the most soft spoken voice the most personal ish you've ever tried to hide.

She did that to me.  She waited until class was over; then pulled me to the side and told me that for the next class I had to dress beautifully.

"And by that Tish I mean you have to dress in a way that honors your beauty. I know you hide your beauty in goofiness and baggy clothes to make others feel more comfortable around you. I want you to know that you don't have to hide here. I want to see you."

I almost bawled right there in the damn door. I wonder how many people have ever figured out why I am the way I am...the clown, the goof, the tomboy whackadoo. I'm freaking out trying to put together clothes that reflect a beautiful girl. That sounds silly even writing. Arrogant, just a bit...

I got issues in different area codes, y'all.


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