Family Snark

5.14.2012
So Jersey said he's going to try to get me my canon dream cam while he's back on the East Coast. There's this fun camera shop that EVERYONE in New York goes to called B&H. I was totally excited and shared the news with a friend and her friend. (They both have children.) The friend of a friend stopped me mid-story and asked if I had children with my fella. I said no...that we weren't even married or planning to be married yet. (She gave me the look.)

Then she asked if we were someday planning to have kids and I said yeah. (She gave the look again) and then she said the thing you're never supposed to say to a single girl, "Well enjoy buying yourself that kind of extravagant purchase now because once you have kids you won't be able to spend that kind of money on yourself. It should go to your kids." 

Did I just get shamed? Or put in my place? Was that a Bridget Jones slam?! You know...that situation she experiences when she (the only single person) goes to a party of couples and listens on as they ask her when she's going to settle down and get hitched.

AHHHHH! I had to choke back tears. What the heck?! Where was my gangster?! How did such a tiny snub do me in? I know not, but I feel bad for the next person who tries to pull that on me. 

And if I am ever fortunate enough to start a family of my own God, please don't let me say ignorant, snarky ish like that to my single/children-less friends. I hate when women say, "well you'll know once you have children." 

Yes...for some women they hate kids until they have their own so they weren't around them at all growing up. I, on the other hand, have been around babies my entire life. My mom was a baby whisperer and passed it on to me so I'm not trying to hear that silliness. I know I'll learn things about myself that will change the way I see the world...two hours of sleep for three months straight could do that to anyone BUT I'm not inept at knowing about kids. 

Has that ever happened to you?! Any good comebacks?


7 comments:

  1. Ugh, this post grinds my gears.

    As a person without children in my 30s, I always get tons of snarky comments. And as a person who has chosen to remain happily childless for my entire life, I get even more snarky comments.

    I don't understand people's interest in what other people chose to do regarding procreation. It was really none of that person's business if you were married or if you had children. Your comment was about a camera, not your family situation.

    I think that person's comment came from jealousy. She is also implying that parents can't purchase nice things for themselves just because they are parents. I don't agree. So if you were married and had children and Jersey was getting you that camera, you would be a terrible parent?

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  2. Thank you! You summed that up perfectly!

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  3. rrrrrrrrrrr.

    follow me here.

    if there is one thing that elicits fear in my soul, it is meeting an old old old person who is shallow, tactless, mean spirited and unaware/narrow minded.

    (trust me, I've met a few!)
    and I think the fear comes because i'm forced to realize that it is completely possible to live your WHOLE darn life and pass over all the love and wisdom you could be collecting from your experiences, and instead respond with pride and arrogance.

    this is the second post of yours I've read lately where you've mentioned sensitivity to certain (crappy) situations and I just wanted to point out that sometimes it's ok to feel those things. I think it means you're
    AWARE.
    OPEN.
    SINCERE.

    And because of that, you'll NEVER be one of those bitchy old ladies. :) You'll be warm and kind and full of wisdom. (think Oprah!) :)

    true.
    true.

    And let's just say this...that friend of a friend has A LOT LONGER path to travel before she reaches the same destination.

    xoxo

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  4. ps

    thank you so much for your kind text yesterday.

    that was such a fun surprise!
    a great BOOST!

    you are one of a kind!

    xoxo

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  5. :) Glad your hubby gave you the message! (Thought it would be a random surprise.)

    I'm totally down with walking the path Oprah walked :)

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  6. So this person is definitely jealous! I hate when people give unsolicited advice about parenting or whatever!

    Also, what a deterrent to motherhood? As a mother, I want nothing more than to share how great being a mother is! I choose to focus on the positives and remedy what negatives there are.

    Balance is key. It's okay to spoil yourself. As long as the kids are happy and healthy, then it's okay for the mama to be happy and healthy too!

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  7. Thank you Ashlea! I'm so not down with the mother the martyr schtick. It doesn't look good on folks.

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