The Actors Studio and Struggle

4.16.2012
I seriously don't know which milestone would mean more...

Winning my first Oscar or going on The Actors Studio and telling that glorious host, James Lipton, what my favorite and least favorite word is.

I keep reading all of these articles about how we're not our roles as mommies and daddies, we're not our exes, we're not our careers...how all of those things are just stories we use as crutches. My character has nothing to do with my acting struggles...Just because I'm struggling doesn't mean you'll find my picture below the word failure in a dictionary.

Sometimes I get that and sometimes I don't. Sometimes aren't we our stories? When people ask my mom, "Hey how is Tish?" and she replies, "Oh she's still out there in crazy Hollywood trying to get auditions," do you think they're thinking of my character or the fact that I'm a 31 year old playing dreamer doo wop?

I don't know, but either way it doesn't bother me. When push comes to shove and you ask me what I am I'll straight up tell you I'm a struggling actor. I struggle with acting every day. Why do I say that even though countless successful people have warned me not to? Because I have yet to get a firm grasp on a role, a part, a job. Isn't that the definition of a struggler?

It might make me persistent and strong and stubborn and all of those good things you need to have to survive out here, but I'm still in wishing mode.

All of this came from one night of Actors Studio. God help Mark...living with the likes of me has to be "interesting".

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