|Therapy looks so much cooler on TV...|
...This has been THE hardest week of my life.
This is the story of how tiny little hiccups all came together to bring me down to my knees.
The shortest explanation I can muster: Got a sinus infection. Doctors didn't believe me. Vertigo set in. Trying to fight the infection sans antibiotics led to body breakdown. Was taking meds at the wrong time...that combined with crazy fatigue led to night terrors four days in a row. Don't know if you've ever experienced a night terror, but they are terrifying. I'd wake up multiple times a night screaming for Jersey, convulsing and crying...I spun into deep depression.
I've been so scared and not in my right mind. I have nothing creative in me...I'm a shell of myself trying to heal as best I can. I see the world carrying on and I'm just stuck in my own head...trying to find my way out of the utter fear that's permeating every inch of my body. Trying to get lots of rest...took some time off of work. FINALLY got some antibiotics....
More than anything I'm focusing on the word balance. Our bodies are so delicate...Hiccups. I cried to my doctor yesterday...so scared that this right here is what I can expect for the rest of my life. He seems to think it won't be...I want to believe his words more than anything.
I don't know when the "me" will come back...when words will eagerly spill out of my head and find their way into my quirky little blog. Just gonna rest...and think...and try to be patient...and cherish every damn moment I feel like me. Never take that for granted...