Last Will and Testament

12.07.2011
Fun fact about me: Whenever I get scared and think I may not make it to see the next day I pull out a piece of paper and a pen and I start to write out everything I've ever wanted to say to those nearest and dearest to me...I write the things I'd want them to know if I couldn't be there to tell them myself.

Been doing that ish for YEARS. All started when I went with my friend Beej to grab things from her house. Her parents were on vacation and she was staying with my family. We went inside and someone had broken in. Her dad was a federal court judge at the time so loonies were always threatening him...Being in that place while she called the cops and packed her things was terrifying. I just knew some crazy bupkis was going to jump out of the closet and kill us both. And that's when the scribbling down my heart's last thoughts began.

At 9:30 am I'll be counting backwards and I'm a bit scared. I haven't been knocked out for a surgery in awhile. The last time I was knocked out I didn't know about all of the fluke accidents where people don't wake up...like Kanye West's mother. It's always the random stuff..."Tish went in to get a cyst removed from her toe and she never woke up..."

Ahhhh! It freaks me the eff out I tell you! All I've done is think about this surgery...I worry that I haven't really made the impact I wanted to make quite yet. If I were to have a funeral this week everyone would say I was really open about tooting and poop. (Mo would be so proud...)

I'm praying that I'll be okay. I have ish to do! I have book clubs to host! I have a mama to see over Christmas! I have a boy to get hitched to one of these days! Lots of things that require exclamation marks.

Listen if you couldn't figure out before that I'm dramatic enough to be an actress, now you can. I put the "Am" in drama!

So long Toe-fer! (that's my cysts name) Hope you don't cost me more than a good nap!




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