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Ella Nights

This I love more than anything...

...Coming home and playing in my beautiful bathroom.

Turning on the Ella Fitzgerald Pandora station and pampering my poor, broken body with showers, masks and TLC.

Encouraging Coco

I'm a self-proclaimed product whore. Always have been...

Usually I'm pretty good about staying away from web sites that could possibly feature things that could possibly get me in trouble, but I wasn't on a web site. I was reading Vogue and there was THE most glorious eye shadow I have ever seen...and so of course I had to go and start browsing more Chanel products and BAM! the darn peridot attacked my heart strings.

It's sad, but I raced up to the mall yesterday and swindled the Nordies peeps to put the shadow and nail polish on hold for me. I cursed them for being so accomodating and dangerous...then kissed their kind feet.

Post Audition


Being a wannabe actor AND having a full-time job is HAWD. It's hard because you have to work and work sucks balls and then you have to pick up those balls, put them in your mouth, muster a smile and do a happy dance for casting agents...while fun little worry-free other actors show up fresh-faced, ball less and bucking for business.

I almost fell asleep on the way to my audition. I was exhausted, stressed out and feeling gross from my looong day of work. I showed up to the audition and a room full of pretty and perfect people stared back at me and then looked down at my disheveled attire. Saying it will never get old..."I have a love/hate relationship with acting."

One of these days Alice....ONE OF THESE DAYS!!!

Beware! There IS an F bomb dropped in this ish...Sorry Mom...I was in the moment.

after the audition from Luv & Kiwi on Vimeo.

Why Grammama...

What inky blue nails you have Grammama!

The better to write you off with my dear...


So I came home the other night and wrote in my journal, "I want to book a commercial in 2011," and what do you know, but my agent has risen from the land of silence and blessed me with the news that I indeed have one.

Um, it's been a good year/maybe two since my last audition. I kid you not. You may not believe in writing thangs down, but I do!!!

Bananas I say...Bananas!

Life's been beating me down. Don't really feel like the best girlfriend, the best employee, the best writer, the best actress in training, the best of anything lately so hopefully this will put a little pep in my step.

Here's to hoping anyways.

Honoring │ Brigid Jones

Brigid...not really sporting the last name Jones, but she's a hard core anglophile so the nickname fits her. She's the gal pal who I first met in Los Angeles. She's the one who had similar dreams of making it in Hollywood...just behind the camera. She's definitely more involved in the entertainment industry than I am.

She manages stage shows at a snazzy theater in Hollywood called Note. All her buds are currently in commercials, filming Narnia ish and rocking other stuff that makes me totally drool and she's doing the damn thing with a commercial right now that will be featured internationally. When that bad boy airs you'll definitely hear about it. It sounds like it's gonna be a hoot.

This chick rocks in so many ways. Not only can she successfully keep her cell phone chillin in her cleavage (little gals like me are fascinated by such tricks!) she can also write her brains out. She was the brilliant one who introduced me to the Firefly series as well as the YouTube video Animals with English accents.

She's bloody brilliant and totally the bee's knees.

Brigid's Blog

Feeling Lighter

Jersey: I'm feeling light...oh yeah

Me: ?  You're feeling light?

Jersey: Yeah, I droppped off the kids in the toilet.

Me: Oh...LOL. You know you're saying it wrong, right?


Work lately has been such a beast. I've been slammed with stuff that I don't understand...feel like I'm drowning at times, but Monday seriously took the cake. By the time I got to my workout class I was a mess of emotions. At one point I was doing crunches and I just stopped and stared up at the ceiling trying my hardest not to cry.

Have you ever wanted to quit but know you can't because you have to be a responsible adult? I really, really hope I get to do what I enjoy in life one day...


Quality Programming


By golly did I miss cable!

It Has Begun

I'm playing by my agent's rules now...

I found a photographer and she seems really cool. Her name's Vanie (sounds like Bonnie) and hopefully she does something magical on my shoot that forces casting folks to drool and want to book me nonstop.

A gal can dream anyways...

I'm in year six now. It's time for some magic dang it.


Oh snap! Our bios are up on the FBG site! Now it's all official and ish. Now I'm big stuff!!!...and somehow, right as this went live, the California Association of Nosy Arse Big Brothers Tax Department found me and thought now would be the time to school me on the fact that I own my own business (i.e. I'm an official freelance writer) and therefore I need to pay for a business license fee.

Isn't life hilarious? Yin and yang, eb and flow, rise and fall, bio and tax.

Giovanni's Trattoria

Giovanni's Italian Trattoria

Saturday night after Moneyball Jersey and I stumbled upon probably THE best pizza I've ever tasted. Pizza Al Mascarpone...a delicious pie of mozzarella, sun-dried tomatoes, mushroom, artichokes and garlic.

I don't know what created my eyes to roll back...the cheeses, the crust, the sauce. I don't know but roll those eyes I did.

Hold the Line

The other morning I was listening to an older woman discussing politics with a fella on NPR...

He asked to speak to her friend and she asked him to hold the line while she went to find her buddy.

I giggled.

How old do you have to be if you still ask folks if they can hold the line? Do they still think there's an operator listening in?

Tickles me rotten. I wonder what hilarious things we'll be saying 60 years from now that has the young whippersnappers snickering.

Date Night

fancy curtains

The streets within the Sony lot

a sign?

Lot 22

Saturday night Jersey and I ventured down to the Sony lots to see the new movie, Moneyball.

Great movie I have to say. I'm not really a Pitt fan...I never went goo goo over the man's blue eyes, but I have to say he's starting to remind me of a Robert Redford.

The movie was fascinating (true story by the way). I swear it makes you appreciate the game of baseball; makes you appreciate dreams and definitely makes you appreciate folks who bring integrity to their pursuits.
I'm a bit of a sucker for films like this one...

I left that Sony theater (those little theaters meant for big wigs and the stars from the movie to watch in) and felt renewed about acting. I looked up at the sky and asked God in front of Jersey about being ready and why I'm always so close to the dream I want and how I can never really touch it.

I didn't stay in the lot that long but hopefully soon I'll get some quiet time and be able to see if I'll finally hear some answers...

Diligent Actors


So yeah...I was going to go to this acting workshop in order to get back in the groove, but I made that tiny promise to work on my book so I've decided to put that on least until the auditions start coming back in from my agent...

Make sense, no?

Acting is such a wishy washy thing for me....I never know if I'm slacking, being practical, being passive aggressive...

If only I could be certain of this ish. A bossy fairy godmother who knows the ins and outs of the industry. If only...

Flower Delivery

I wish I lived in DC!!!

Now that I have light and I'm sans deadly fortress of old apartment stank, I want to fill my world (aka my apartment) with flowers. FLOWERS EVERYWHERE! FLOWERS SHOULD COME OUT MY BUTT! FLOWERS!!!

Guess are hella expensive here and I'm not a rich gal. You know what else? My friends have promised to flog me if I put fake flowers up in this piece. Conundrum.

A Move in My Future?

So Jersey wants to move back to bad.

Here's the question...Do I become the girl who keeps him from his friends and family because of my silly dreams? Do I just chalk it up to "I tried LA!" and retire the try? Move to the land of hard knocks and accept bullet wounds, snow and rudeness?

Is this what being in a relationship is? Am I gonna turn into the mom from Ya Ya Sisterhood?! Will I be a bitter, dramatic Vivi who feels her children and husband took her life away?

Why is it that women are only the ones who have to make these sacrifices? I feel pressured to get my acting career somehow I have control over it. If I don't get acting moving soon...if my book doesn't go soon...whelp I'll look like the ass clown who kept Jersey out of Jersey.

I used to not care about geography...I never felt anchored to any specific state or region. Then I moved to California and the sunshine and the mountains and oceans and breezes and lack of snow started singing to me and now I'm kind of stuck on that tune.

Damn it all! Life is hard! 30 is hard!

Yankee Green


Jersey takes that East Coast ish seriously...This is grass from Yankee Stadium.
Seriously? Seriously...

Apparently me having my plant meant he could put his tacky grass in my kitchen window, too.

Compromise is evil.

The Headline

Brilliantly cleva!!!

Writing it Down

I'm frickin about to lose my damn mind at work...

I'm dealing with the whackest of whack folk and I'm soooo learning that I don't belong in a corporate environment. I was not being professional yesterday. I was rolling my eyes, sighing loudly, pulling at my hair, rubbing my eyes for long periods of time and sucking my teeth...all while in a meeting.

You are NOT supposed to suck your teeth but I was dealing with stress and that's how I, the dramatic wannabe actress, handle that ish. By the time I showed up to my workout class I was a hot shriveled mess of woman and it took my all to lift those darn weights and give my body a second beating.

I want this to fuel my fire...I NEED to write and act and get the HELL out of dodge because The Man is killing me...not slowly either. Oh no....this isn't Office Space funny stuff. No one's asking me for TPS reports or stealing my stapler. They're just torturing me with stupidity.

It's time. This weekend I'm finding my edits. I am finishing that damn re-write and I am turning it back into my editor by Monday!

I wrote it. Therefore it shall be!!!

Huffington Post!

♥ Huffington Post Article ♥

Last week J found this lovely article and made my day. I swear seeing my words in print never gets old. NEVAH!


There's only one time a month when I like chocolate...only one time and when I crave that dark stuff it better be goooooood.

Waiting For it to Become Visible

To give you an example of what this feels like, think about the feeling you have watching a beautiful sunrise. You may experience awe and intense gratitude, but you will not be thunderstruck, amazed or hysterical. A sunrise is glorious, but it is normal. We aren’t attached to the sun continuing to shine because we are sure it will. If you can feel that way about the arrival of your soul mate or the success of your business, my recent experience convinces me it will appear around you like dew. Everything you want is there right now, waiting to become visible.~Martha Beck

Oh how I'd love to see my book deal and my acting career stop being invisible and pop up for me to see! Pesky, ain't it?

My body is starting to come out of the rigor mortis state it's been in. It's beginning to contact photographers...It's discussing important matters with Diva Dara (a fellow actress who knows her ish) It's searching boxes in the writing nook trying to find those stack of edits...It's considering acting classes and starting to dream and hope once again.

Go brain!

One of my idols sits on my fireplace mantel in the living room. She reminds my brain to keep doing all of the above.

Ghost Pepper

This is my kind of idiot!!!


I was so happy when Diva Dara offered to help me clean our nasty, ghetto, slum of an apartment that we moved out of. I almost wept actually, but nothing prepared me for her and her child to actually be as geeked as me to clean at the butt crack of dawn.

She went to Porto's, picked us up coffees and breakfast sandwhiches and we were off. It took us less than an hour to scrub that place decently. We spent the rest of the time laughing at Nehe play with croissants on the living room carpet.

That girl scrubbed walls for me...I think in some cultures that means I owe her my first born...or at least a bottle of lavendar lysol cleaner.

The apartment is completely gutted and cleaned the heck out. I never have to return there again. When Jersey said that to me I looked at him as though he had said he couldn't wait to have my Jesus fro babies. It was a lovely, endearing moment. I swear to mother truckin' Mr. Clean.

Good Luck

A friend gave me this plant three years ago and I vowed I wouldn't grow it until I had a place I could really call home. Wellllllp, I have a place I like to call home and then pelvic thrust in so I thought it was high time I busted open the green thumb of hope.

Who knew this little baby had a message on it. How cool is that ish?! I love it! First of all, everything I touch turns to boo boo (regarding plants) I just don't get to keep things alive. The whole watering something perfectly escapes me.

When this little one busted onto the scene I shed a tear of joy. First that she survived ME and second that she's got words on her. The perfect plant for a writer, I tell ya!

Coincidence it's called Stella Luna? I think not! (My iPad's name is Stella Moon)

LA Fashion District

Diva Dara has been trying to get me out to the fashion district in downtown LA for months and we finally made it happen. Sunday morn Jersey and I met up with the Diva and her snazzy family (the husband and the baby) for some browsing action in the district of fashion überness.

I've never seen so many fabric stores in my life! I have this one print in mind for a pillow for my living room. Don't ask me what it's called. I spent an hour trying to google that ish and even longer trying to see if I could magically just spot it in a store. No luck, but I found a lot of other cool prints that would work just as well.

Jersey and I plan to go back. This time we'll prepare. Shoes must be hella comfortable. Hair must be pulled back and off the neck. (It's hotter than heck when you get into those alley ways!!!) A light purse must be brought. (Jersey had to carry the heavy arse crossbody bag for me in the end.) Cash must be in the wallet. Plastic is a seven letter dirty word around those parts.

Our fellas

Got a Jesus piece?

Shared a jelly doughnut with this cutie

Kiwi smoothie!!! Like FOR REAL kiwi!

Sunday Mornings

I finally had the perfect Sunday morning with Jersey. It consisted of sleeping in, pillow talk, a lot of laughing and THE best new sheets a gal could ask for. I love good beds. I love sinking in and feeling like heaven is hugging the peace and tranquility right into you.

That's what home should feel like...You should have the best bed and the best sleep in your honest-to-goodness home. That's what my bones told me yesterday morning.

The Ladies' Friday Night

Friday night I attended my first jewelry party at my dear love's abode. We drank wine, talked of girly things and enjoyed a hodge podge of interesting conversations.

I totally went in to this party with the mindset that I wouldn't buy anything, but the quality of stuff was so fabulous and the Jewelry Fairy Woman had brought a necklace I've been searching for for many moons and countless suns. I made the women swear with the right hands up they wouldn't tell Jersey but then I came home with one of his favorite Filipino dishes (lumpia) so I figured I could get away with the purchase. (Furnishing our place is controlling EVERYTHING right now!) He still laughed at how easily I went down.

(We'll see what he says when he finds out I have three other necklaces I just have to have because they're dainty and perfect and made for my happiness.)

I'm thinking of having one of those bad boy parties for my girlfriends. It was so much fun to spend time with those women...especially when I found out the Jewelry Fairy Woman also has the world's record for most nail polishes...AND she can name those bad boys...even the OPI colors!

I love women...I really do.

The hostest with the mostest

The Jewelry Fairy Woman rocks her ish OUT!

Two Men Peeing


You Must Be a Tragic Mulatto

You HAVE to be a mixed person in order to use the paper at my job...

What's next? Only Jersey Shore-ians can cut the orange paper? I'm ashamed...

There You Are Peter!

This is what I've been doing to keep the snarkies at bay:

I visualize the person who has hurt me and I mentally surround them with divine light. Then I deeply pray, "Heavenly Father, fill them wtih peace and harmony, peace and harmony, peace and harmony," over and over for about a minute.

Then I have to visualize myself in divine light and say, Heavenly Father, fill me with peace and harmony," for about 15 seconds...multiple times a day...

I swear it helps keep my heart pure...I imagine that if I were in Never Neverland and a sweet little Lost Boy were staring at me, he'd say, "Oh, there you are Peter!"

Designing Gangsta │The Living Room


I'm a tiddy bit obsessed with getting the casa in order. These are pieces we're adding to the living room...little by little...paycheck by paycheck...IT WILL GET DONE! 

According to J I'm decorating like an M-fing adult. Oh yeahhhhh...
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