Nancy Drew and the Concubine

I swear Amy Tan's book, The Kitchen God's Wife, was pulsing through my brain this entire weekend. Let me start from the beginning though...

So my gal pal, *Lola, only wanted one thing for her 31st birthday--to go away with four of her girlfriends for a relaxing getaway. That's all we friends were allowed to know. We were told to pack swimming suits and books and get ready to relax so I did and shimmied all the way up to the valley early Saturday morning ready for some peace and lady love.

We found out about an hour into the car drive that we were going to be staying at a major league baseball player's summer home...We'd have a chef for the day and night and we'd do nothing but relax. We pulled up to this beautiful home near the ocean and that's when my inner "Danger, Will Robinson!" alarms went off. While this place was UNBELIEVABLY awesome and dream-like, we were staying at a professional athlete's house...An athlete who happened to see us pulling up as he was going out...An athlete who wasn't supposed to be at the casa that weekend, but now was planning to come and hang out later.

In Amy Tan's book, there's this woman who goes to play mahjong with some gal pals at some rich dude's house. That night as she slept, the big bad rich dude sneaked into her bed and raped her. Then she was shamed by her people and forced to be the guy's concubine. AHHH! The story just wouldn't stop playing repeat in my head.

The entire day I was jumpy as heck. I kept waiting for a group of men to walk in and start throwing girls over their shoulders...Kid you not. During the day we remained safe. We girls had the place all to ourselves...we drank champagne by the pool, we ate delicious food and laughed our brains out. I was just what the doctor ordered.

As soon as the sun went down, the horrors popped back up. I had taken a picture of a statue of a winged man that my camera would never capture. It was freaking me out...I swear that thing was haunted somehow. The ghost factor didn't help my nerves so when Lola asked if I would go inside and investigate the ghost statue I was on edge. We went inside, creeped up to the statue, she snapped and then asked me what was that noise she had heard and I TOOK OFF! I ran so fast out of that darn house I don't even remember my feet touching stone.

The scene I created was enough to break the ice with the fellas outside. My adrenaline brought out my inner dork/geek/nerd. When *Mr. Major Leagues showed up later that night I was on top of my dork game and totally forgot to put my anti-concubine shield up...turns out it wasn't needed. The guys were probably wondering if we were there for a good time BUT dork + one awesome lesbian + one married woman + two smart and sensible sisters meant we were PG and then some. 

I ended up having some really intriguing conversations with two of the fellows about the entertainment industry (You know they're all Richy Rich heads who know all of the people I dream of knowing and working with.) Their perspective on the industry was jaded, but it felt really good to talk about it and reiterate why I'm doing what I do. I've decided I need to hear myself explain why I'm trying to act and my plan for getting there. I need to say it out loud A LOT and believe it!

Even though I slept with Lola in a guest bedroom that night I still made sure to wrap myself up in blankets and sleep as heinously funky-looking as I possibly could so that no one would come in in the middle of the night and make me a concubine...Then we woke the next morning, packed and headed home.

It felt like we were there for weeks. I Nancy Drew'ed a ghost statue, I drank like a sailor, I protected my honor, and I solidified myself as an honest to goodness nerd. I read lots and really thought long and hard about that lifestyle I borrowed for the weekend.

I definitely want to own a home some day...Definitely would like to feel the freedom that comes with being financially awesomesauce, but I don't really know if I need that particular kind of life...I know I'll need to keep my current friends and family close...I know I'll never purchase a haunted statue and that my current life is pretty darn great. I like how real it deep my conversations with loved ones honestly real it has been and how it will continue to be. When I make it, I'll have years of struggle and reflection to keep me grounded.

I'm sure that adventure will inspire many more posts to come. I spent all of Sunday telling Jersey play-by-play and I STILL don't think I got it all out. So be prepared for more insights...

Love that I got ALL of that from one ladies trip. Beautifully random...

*Names were changed, like always, to protect the goofy.


  1. You know I'm a big supporter of ladies-only time. Seems like you had a beautiful time and your va-jay-jay remained un-attacked by strangers. That's always a good way to spend a weekend.


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