Emotional Vampires

8.23.2011
"Certain activities, attitudes, foods, and persons support the cultivation of an unconscious life. They draw us away from our center. They throw us off-balance. They deplete the soul."~Patricia Lynn Reilly

Oh the agony an emotional vampire can afflict upon the innocent! I've dealt with some pretty hardcore Level 10-emotional vampires this year, but fortunately, I also turned 30, too. I don't know why, but I decided a long time ago that 30 meant I was grown like my momma...which meant I could no longer have petty, weird, emotionally draining "friends" anymore.

I'm sure you're thinking, "Um, Tishy...you don't have to be 30 in order to kick the bad eggs to the curb." But it wasn't that easy for me y'all! I'm the Queen of PP...not urine, but people pleasing. I hate making people cry. Even worse I hate disappointing people...even worse than that I hate it when they don't like me so I bend in almost impossible ways to accommodate others...

Well, I did.... In the last couple of months I've managed to let go.
It really was a no brainer cut. Every time this vampire asked me to hang out I'd hang my head in defeat. I'd groan and moan all the way over to her house. I'd listen as she complained about this and that. I'd grimace as she screamed about all the bad and negative things she sought out and focused on and I'd try my hardest to zone out as she badmouthed and made fun of all of her friends. "Oh she shouldn't really be driving that car. She can't afford it. That friend isn't a good friend because she didn't hang out with me 24/7 at this weekend retreat we went to..." Ever met a vampire like that?
I feel like I'm starting with a clean slate. Forget New Years! The summer was my do over! Now I'm just working on the next chapters...How to rebuild the emotional losses I endured...how to appreciate and honor those who are in my life with good intentions....How to hide the unsightly holes left over from years of suckage. : )

To be continued...

3 comments:

  1. More power to ya. Life is too short to let other people drain your positive energy.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Sometimes it frightens me how two people (who have never met) can be experiencing such parallel lives.

    Warning: Verbal vomit coming....

    I just had a realization about a friend that I fear falls into this catagory. Problem is: I planned a girl's weekend and invited 3 friends (she is one of them) and it is THIS weekend. I have been looking forward to this time away for a month, as it is the closest thing that I am getting to a vacation (and it is only two nights. boo.)

    We had a pre-weekend meeting and I left angry because she had unreasonable demands and expectations of the weekend (that I planned and invited people along on!). Then she called to "apologize" and used that time to explain herself and insult me, which made me more angry and led me to tears. My favorite was "You act like your problems are worse than everyone's". WTF? You might as well just call me a narcissistic arrogant ass. I hardly even get to see these people and I certainly don't go gabbing about my "problems" every chance I get, and I actually think I give a great deal of time and attention to anything hard that my friends are dealing with. Anyhoosers, I have dropped friends like hot potatoes for such things and I am now dreading the weekend and spending any time with her. I tried to get her to back out of the already disappointing-to-her trip, but she insists on going. I honestly no longer want her there, but frigging HATE drama and we have a lot of mutual friends. Blah.

    See? vomit.

    Anyway, I am unsure of what to do and annoyed because my "fun" plans have been foiled by someone whom I clearly cannot please and will tell me about all the ways that I am disappointing her. neat. Maybe she'll get the stomach flu...

    So here is my question: How much "work" should our friendships require?
    I work on my marriage and my parenting skills. I work on familial relationship. But should we have to work that hard on our friends? I really don't know.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Ah Johi...I totally feel for you...especially the part where you say your e.v. and you share mutual friends...the second e.v. I mentioned is doing everything in her power to buddy up with all of my peoples...she won't go away for nothing. That kind of energy is a time suck too...I'm not gonna lie. I have a post coming about that as well...lol. The thing is when you can control your plans life is better. I say give her the boot...Maybe gently...just stop inviting her places after this. No slashing necessary...just little snip snips of letting go. ♥

    ReplyDelete

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