Not Everyone is a Frickin Foodie!

I'm walking...I'm grabbing my box. I'm putting the box on the ground. I am standing on the box now. I am ranting to you while standing on my box.

Not everyone is a frickin foodie! Why do I feel the need to pull out the soap box and shout this to the world ten people who actually read this? It's sad actually. All I want to do is plan a nice meal with food that folks will like. Jersey and I had a party at the beach this weekend with some buds. I took it upon myself to find fun foods for the fun day... The search was NOT fun.

I searched for days and I swear to Julia Childs herself, I almost clubbed a baby seal with a frying pan I was so angry with those recipe authors and the bull spit they were trying to feed me. I found one site that said I could make muffuletta sandwiches. Those happen to my favorite sammies in the whole wide world. I get them all the time in New Orleans when I'd visit. Sooo good. I gleefully clicked on the link and then read the following:

Really Food Network?! That's easy?! What in Hades is mortadella?! I am NOT a foodie. I don't want to buy fontina cheese or have garnishes. Does everything delicious have to involve stuck up ingredients? Because that's what they are...They're stuck up, hoity toity, pretentious ingredients. The foodie revolution is bewitching. From now on all parties shall be low maintenance classics. I shall buy peanut butter and jelly...and sticking a pickle on the side as a garnish.

Word to your mother.


  1. LMAO! I consider myself a novice Foodie and I get pissed at the exotic ingredients I have to purchase for a quirky dish. My dumb ass spent $18 on a vile of rose extract for less than a dozen macaroons (French) :-\

  2. lol $11 for a tiny bottle of ginger crystals...WTF?!


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