Lightening in a Bottle

6.23.2011

I'm waiting for it...



I went home to Middle Earth to see my father's grave and see my loved ones...It sounds silly, but I was really thinking something profound would happen; the clouds would part and I, Tish Tosh, would find clarity, focus and whatever else I needed (that I'm not currently clear and focused enough on to know.)

I did have an eventful time. I spent quality time with my best friend. I tangoed with God Child #2 and listened to God Child #1 tell me about her dreams of being a lawyer. I attended a beer fest. I screamed through the movie, Super 8. I hung with my grandma and cried at my dad's grave. In all, I had a well-rounded trip.

It was the quiet times in between that I realized I can't come back to that home quite yet. (The family wants me to move back.) I haven't done what I set out to do. It was hard to look my God kids in the eyes. I haven't tried for my dream in a long, long time. I can't be the God mommy who didn't show spirit...isn't that a rule in the spiritual mentor handbook or something?!

I went to this cool workout place with J called The Fit Pit and got me arse handed to me on an obstacle course and it all came rushing back. We're all good at something--there's something great we all can do that makes our spirits do little jigs--and I haven't landed my something quite yet. (The leap frogging and pull-ups taught me that.) J is soaring with her dreams and she's as close as close can be to me, so I know accomplishment is possible. I see it and read it every day when I open up a Fit Bottomed Girls post.  

I went back to learn I still need to move forward. I don't know what 2011 or the future holds. I have NO clue what I'm supposed to be doing. I'm just gonna keep doing what I do...and hope to GOD that it happens...whatever it may be.

2 comments:

  1. I know this feeling all too well. I feel like ****SOMETHING**** is going to happen ****Someday!***. I've been thinking though, maybe it isn't about that. Maybe it is all the spaces in between...
    FYI, I think you are awesome, as is.

    ReplyDelete
  2. ♥ you Johi :) STANKS!

    ps...you basically just said what the bestie just said. thinking y'all are on to something.

    ReplyDelete

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