I don't believe in marriage. No, I really don't. Let me be clear about that. I think at worst it's a hostile political act, a way for small-minded men to keep women in the house and out of the way, wrapped up in the guise of tradition and conservative religious nonsense. At best, it's a happy delusion... these two people who truly love each other and have no idea how truly miserable they're about to make each other. But...But...when two people know that, and they decide with eyes wide open to face each other and get married anyway, then I don't think it's conservative or delusional. I think it's radical and courageous and very romantic.
Today I went to an engagement party for this guy I work with and his lovely fiance who now does my hair. (The red short fro...that's courtesy of Lora's awesomeness) Here's the deal...I wasn't ready for anything wedding. I had to deal with THE most stressful wedding ish just a short time ago and had decided wedding stresses weren't for me. (I told Jersey we were eloping and I meant it!) but I went because Euron and Lora are good people and have showered me with nothing but goodness since meeting the both of them.
I remember when he came to work smiling and saying hello to everyone...then proceeded to plop down a gorgeous picture of her near his computer...
I was there to hear about the ring and the engagement plan (that I wasn't allowed to share with ANYONE...and he KNOWS how I am!) He's like the older brother I never had. He's the fella who always gave me the real scoop on men and all the weird theories that swirl around up there in their martian brains.)
That's why their relationship means so much to me and, as I learned, so many others. A man who was never afraid to hand me the truth would go on and on about how wonderful Lora was. I'd never really heard a man (who wasn't written for a Lifetime movie) expressing such love and kindness for another like that. Without attempting to impress the world...without any hidden agenda Euron lit up and let it all come out.
Then today I sat at the engagement party and listened as loved one after loved one shared reasons why the two of them were such a special couple. They shared the personal stories...what they felt watching the two of them together. Then Euron's sister went and stood beside her brother and future sister-in-law and shared loving wisdom from her heart...personal advice based on what she had learned in her own marriage:
She encouraged them to keep a few people around to guide them through the trials and tribulations that would surely come. She gave them permission to grieve the losses of friends who, in the future, probably wouldn't last. She said friends came for seasons...to be grateful for the gifts they gave, but warned that not everyone would be supportive in their fight to remain a strong couple. She urged them to remain each other's best friend. She stressed praying for each other daily--a practice that would surely keep their hearts close. It was beautiful and genuine. The tears started falling...
I think as a society we get so caught up in the bling...we try to keep up with the Joneses...and we lose what's really important.That celebration brought me back to a more beautiful time when love was all that mattered. I instantly thought of past weddings that have warmed my heart...all the friends and family members who have made those promises and who I now seeing being such good spouses to each other.
I thank that couple for allowing me to be a part of their celebration. The two of them linked arms and looked into each other's eyes and all was right in the world again. They both have experienced the ugly side of loves gone wrong...and now both are walking into marriage with eyes wide open...courageously like Ashley Judd described it.
I now get why people wedding crash.
If the sky falls and covers us like an ocean/if the sun turns cold &light abandons our hearts. I wld wrap my arms around the space left behind and know...it was you. ~ jessica Care moore
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