Phoenix Rising

It's fitting that I went red...

As you may have gathered, dearest world, I haven't been paying attention when life's bones have been chucked out for the lucky ones to grab. It's been rough and I've been wallowing in that ish. I'm talking full whoas me! ish that resulted in J saying she was going to beat some self-love into me whether I liked it or not. (And she would, too...)

So with her loving pushes, my therapist's words and another friend's spreadsheet (my life is random) I've decided to give positive thinking a try. Woo...Yeah...

I joke, but I really have to change something up or else I'm gonna land myself right in the middle of another unfortunate funk, which wouldnt be cool considering I'm paying lots of cash to share my feelings and memories with my therapist (AKA The Angel); not to mention the cost of happy pills...I can't go and muddy all that up. I've been focusing on what I'm grateful for. Like yesterday, I was thankful my legs didn't give out while I was heaving it out on the treadmill. It's a start! (Baby start...but a start.)

Then I had J give me a non-fluff description of my life. You see, if I would have been the one to do that mess it would have been ugly as hell. She, on the other hand, gave it to me straight:  Just a small town in a lonely world. ♪♫!!!

Sorry, couldn't resist. She basically said I'm a creative chick in the process of going after my dreams. She didn't mention all that hogwash about rejections and being semi-homeless. Nope...left that ish right on out. God bless that ginger-headed girl.

So I have stuff to be grateful for...I have a sound definition of where I am, and I have that beautiful spreadsheet that helps me map out where I want to be. I'm a phoenix, rising from some pretty sad ashes. Cheesy? Oh yeah, but if cheesy keeps me moving forward then bring on the lactose baby cakes!!!

Word to your mother!



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