Danger Zone: Comparisons Uncovered

Fact: I feel like I'm the tortoise when it comes to the race to get married and start pumping out babies like bunnies.

When I look around and I see the things I have to worry about (i.e. being able to afford LIVING on my own...wondering if I can afford anything really...what will I one day do with my life...will I be successful at ANYTHING) and then see what my friends are worried about I start to feel like even my worries are sad news.

When I look around and see the people my closest girlfriends are surrounding themselves with (other married couples with babies and 401Ks that they're not secretly wishing they could exhaust in order to pay off that crummy credit card debt) I start to feel even worse.

You realize people surround themselves with people they need in their life...cultural teachers who help them and when you're not anywhere close to that same life stage, you feel like you've some how failed in the "living" category.

I'm a lost little girl...I admit that with much heartache. My writing friend Annie, wrote a beautiful piece about time...I wish I could say that's the way I live my life--no concept of a beginning and ending...That I purposefully chose to believe there was no set time to start. I wish I could say that I've been in the driver's seat as my life has gone this way and that way, but somewhere along the ride I took my hands off the wheel and decided I had no business figuring out what I'm doing. I was never given a map...never found a map on how to get A, B and C.

So here's the pesky question I can't seem to stop asking myself: What makes a life successful? What markers should I be pinning down and walking/running! towards?

Right now I'm the kind of gal who wakes up, goes to work, looks for a couple of laughs, goes home, watches Oprah, makes dinner, goes to bed and then repeats that fun little process again and again.

They say insanity is doing the same thing, but expecting different results. Um....


  1. Don't compare yourself to anyone else's standards for success. First off, you're incomparable, in a good way. So you shouldn't compare yourself to others. You're amazing, just as you are. Plus, are you sure you want those things or do you want those things because that's what you think you are supposed to do? You may be destined to blaze your own unique path.

  2. You mean I could harvest my eggs for alien fertilization?! That kind of unique path?

  3. Oh that stupid game of comparison.

    Why oh why do we all do it?
    (me too, me too!)

    Let's just say you were married and pumping out babies...gar-un-frek-un-tee you'd still have a million things you would feel "lacking". (i feel authorized to guarantee this:) haha.

    I'm not saying I'm particularly adept at framing my own life this way, but success...that elusive idea of success, I think is much more simply defined than we make it out to be.

    *Doing the best with what you have/are given.
    *Being full of compassion, gratitude, humility and charity.

    ...the sort of qualities you can develop whether you are born with a silver spoon, golden luck, or you are one of the 1.1 billion who live without clean water.

    I'm a little embarrassed to link to such a cheesy video (apologies)
    but I bawl every time I watch it.
    There are a lot of messages, but the one I like best is that he is a great example of magnifying his gifts in life. A garbage man with a sense of success...he does hard things. He's got it figured out.


  4. Well look at you Mrs Painter being all wise and positive. :)

    I have to keep your words near for the weak times.

  5. PS Tara...

    That video is FAR from cheesy. Made me cry.


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