Julianne Potter on CRACK!

4.12.2011
Julia Roberts...She was MY very own American sweetheart. Loved her to pieces, because she wore a tie to her first Oscars...and she was cute... and had a big laugh and once I turned 15, looked like my doppelganger twin. I thought she was pretty lovely...that is UNTIL she did that God-awful flick, My Best Friend's Wedding, and then I detested her. Yep, I realize she was acting...and that she wasn't (in real life) one of those girls who feel it's OK to disrespect the code, but it didn't matter. She had me thinking about those girls who break the code and that was enough to turn me off for years.
It took years for me to adore her again...YEARS. All because of the code.

What's the code you ask? The code is that unwritten rule that we women don't disrespect/flirt/have inappropriate conversations with a taken dude. You know what I'm talking about? When you're walking and see a cute guy...then notice he's with an equally cute gal so you turn quickly (or possibly smile at her) to let her know you mean her no disrespect. A total stranger and still, YOU.DO.NOT.SCOPE.HER.DUDE!

I've always had guy buds my whole life and somehow, without attending one secret damn club where the unwritten code would have been spoken, I figured out the rules. There's a line I just never crossed with my dude friends. No bad talking the chicks they're dating, no discussing sexy sexy time with them, no touching, no flirting...basically you treat this person like they are a sibling. If you wouldn't feel groovy telling your bro that you're a horny toad that needs to get some then you're BREAKING THE CODE. Friends of the opposite sex are supposed to be genderless...There shouldn't be any discussions that lead you to inner dialogue similar to, "HOLY VAGINA TESTICLES BATMAN! This person could want to boink me!"

I did not make this ish up. How do I know this? I know this because I'm dealing with a code breaker chick right now and when I discussed this with friends they ALL got it...They all agreed I wasn't a weird psycho hose beast with jealousy issues...men/woman--both knew ole girl was boo boo for breakin' puffs.

One of my homies is dealing with the same kind of code violator, too. This violator has no boundaries...She's what I like to call the bubble popper. She gets in the bubble and just pops ish up with her inappropriate banter. She cares not for the relationship of the guy friend she supposedly adores...this is how you know she's in the group.

If you go by the code, you ask your bud if you can meet his girl. You make her feel comfortable. You lay it all out there...show that your relationship with ole boy is purely platonic...transparent...innocent. It's not hard. Really. Promise.

What did Spanky do when someone broke the He-Man Woman Haters Club rules? Yeah, Julia Roberts didn't get the dude in My Best Friend's Wedding, but we code followers in the real world also aren't Cameron Diaz Richie Rich hotties with cousins who can sing Say A Little Prayer for You on demand.

P.S. I asked a lesbian friends if this same drama happens in her world. She said it's worse actually. I'm thinking it's time to take the code to the streets and knock some sense into the shady women of the world.

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