Prayer and VODKA

3.03.2011
Do you know how hard it is to be a perky, happy chick trapped in the body of a depressed twathead? It sucks balls. Major balls and apparently I'm super snazzy about hiding the fact that I'm sinking back into funks. I can even hide it from myself.


I've been feeling a bit 'off' for the last couple of months. I've been really tired all the time...lethargic. Haven't wanted to do anything or be around people...and somehow I never clued into the fact that maybe, just maybe, my happy pills could be sucking. Apparently I chew up and spit out happy pills like a gangster. This is the first time it's not cool to be a gangster.

Why am I sharing my business? Because I know I personally have lots of buds who are going through similar situations...or know of someone who is and this stuff helps. I really think that. Plus, it's safer than joining some medical study that will grow balls on my earlobes. This is my way of giving back in the name of science.

I've been searching for a psychiatrist for days now. Yeah...I have insurance and even a company number I can call if I feel like I'm growing a bit too wiggy for my own good. I called the number first. They told me they don't deal with psychiatrists (you know the ones who can actually give you happy pills when you know it's chemically necessary stuff.) They only provide access to therapists...So thank you dear company for passive aggressively letting me know that you frown upon drug therapy. I'll make sure to toast to you when I shoot back my new pills. Promise.

So now I'm on a mission...going through my whole insurance rolodex of psychiatrists in my area and you know what...the little bastards don't call back!!! What the freaky deak folks?! If someone calls you...voice shaking and clearly upset, don't you think it might be a nice idea to return a call? I had one lady call back just to snidely tell me she was booked for a month out. Then she paused and said, "Sooooo...." and waited for me to say I'd find someone else then. Dr. Jerkface, I really hope you have to listen to some really boring people talk about how many times they've flipped on and off their light switch today. :)

What does this all mean? Welllllp, it means I'm treading lightly. I'm trying not to really delve into too many emotional things right now or worry about things out of my control. Doing so could cause me to break out in tears and scare the living daylights out of the temp asking me for a sharpened pencil. Just saying.

I asked a dear friend of mine, College Liz, what the difference was between a psychiatrist and therapist and she wrote back asking me what was up with me. I told her the story and she replied back:

"Well let me now tell you how big of a fan I have become of the power of prayer....you know I'm still not a church going Midwesterner :)...ha! but at least having a belief in something(one) bigger than myself has worked wonders for me....especially these past few years. Always remember your health, and love for yourself and others. That is all that matters now a days! ......AND if all else fails....remember these 5 letters V-O-D-K-A. Love ya!"

Aren't friends the best? They say JUST the right things when you need right things the most.

5 comments:

  1. Awesome advice and yes, friends are the best! Hope things start looking up for you soon, girl. Times like these really do suck, but you will come out the other side smiling like a champ!

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  2. I hope so too! Takes more muscles to frown I hear...smiling preferred ;)

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  3. interesting choice of words "happy pills" since most anti-depressents are "MOR pills" and you ain't no MOR Girl...

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  4. i have never heard of a MOR pill lol.

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  5. my stupid advice:
    ditch the pills and feel. feel every single ounce of pain. let that shit out. if not, it'll always be trapped in there, festering into suffering. and that suffering stuff never leaves you until you climb into the dungeon of your soul and dig it out.
    i SO know this pain, trust me. as soon as i acknowledged it and cried for days...sometimes very randomly...then faced the issues head on, i began to heal.

    we need to talk.

    ReplyDelete

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