My Shero

3.01.2011
You'd think I'd pick a less popular shero to adore, but I.CAN'T.HELP.MYSELF. I've been on Oprah's tip since I was a wee one. It started with sass.

I saw some episode where there were mixed kids talking about how they didn't know who they were or what they were and I remember getting pissed...as pissed as a wee one could and I told my mom I was gonna go on her show some day and tell her that I wasn't confused...that being black and white wasn't hard...Funny how I didn't really "feel" what it meant to truly be black and white until I was significantly older and then the sassy little one in me shut right up.

I may have lost the sass, but I never lost my intrigue for Ms. Winfrey. My gram gave me a book of prominent black women as a kid and there she was...this strong, intelligent woman. I'd read her bio and feel proud that my gram thought I could be like her...

Through the years I've kept my hero numero uno...J and I dreamed of writing a book together as teens. We'd call it Kiwi Power and we'd allow Oprah to review it and put it on her list...She's infiltrated every dream just about.

Which brings me to yesterday. Yesterday was a hard one. Dealing with my book, my writing, my acting, my friendships, my relationship, my boring dead-end job...well it all seemed like I was kind of stuck between a rock and a very hard, cold place and I felt miserable. I told the guy I needed a night of nothing...a night where I could lay on the couch and reflect and listen to what my soul needed. He agreed because he's a dear soul (or he's simply scaredy shatless) and so I went home and plopped myself on the couch.

I went to my DVR and I scrolled down to my list of Oprah episodes I haven't been able to watch in weeks and I hit play. I watched episode after episode...crying and releasing and just letting her smile tear down my walls. Something that silly helped me calm down...a TV show!!!

I was so happy and relieved, but then I was sad. I have no idea what I'll do once her show ends. I remember the day I found out this would be her last season...I cried like someone had just taken a part of me. Darn show has been around basically my whole life...

I wonder if there will ever be another life force quite like her on the air. I sound silly, huh? Almost like a druggie needing a fix. I need the Oprah crack!!! I'm not ashamed to admit that.

Sad, but not ashamed.

4 comments:

  1. awww, Tish! I feel sad for you. I love Oprah, too, and it breaks my heart that she is leaving. and no, I don't think there will ever be anyone like Oprah on the air.

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  2. I know right!?!!! sigh...hang head in defeat.

    lol. She's the bee's knees

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  3. Thank goodness for O Magazine, but it's still not the same...

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  4. No it doesn't lol...Nothing compares to seeing Oprah on a bridge yelling "I don't give a shit about the O sign"

    Just saying...

    ReplyDelete

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