A Dreamer's Dress Up

This Sunday I plan to dust off the prom dress. (Yep, I dragged that thing from the Midwest all the way to LA because I'm a sentimental twat.) I'll grab a box of tissues so that I can watch the Oscars the way an obsessed wannabe actress is supposed to--in psychotic style.

Jersey thinks me crazy. He refuses to rock his bow tie. (Wonder what crawled up his butt and deemed him normal?!) I LOOOVE the Oscars. I hate that actors say they're just happy to be there and don't care if they win. I LOOOVE the speeches. I hate the pushy rude music meant to hint to folks to shut the eff up. I LOOOVE the clothes. I hate thinking about how one of the stones in their earrings could feed and clothe me for a year...maybe two. It's definitely a love/hate relationship...The best of times and the worst of times.

I named my iPod Oscar Junior. I have a fake little guy on my office desk reminding me to keep dreaming. In those dream it's golden showers of praise. Ew...that sounded R.Kelly'ish. You get the gist, though.

There's no room for rationality. A grown woman will play dress up this weekend. She'll probably toot in her sequins to be honest. It means that much to me. I was driving home from work yesterday and saw an Oscar billboard flashing the countdown time. I did a happy dance in the Flying Tomato and honked his cute little horn. I had a dream a long time ago of me being at the Oscars in a black dress. I was adjusting the strap on my shoe...THAT MEANS SOMETHING! Forget that I probably dreamed I showed up to work sans shirt and bra the next day...STILL means something!

I will pay homage to the dream this Sunday. Don't you call me now! I'll be too busy crying my eyes out-- wishing for a Freaky Friday moment with Natalie Portman. (...And I'm not talking about her 'scene' in Black Swan pervies...I'm referring to the movies where the two women switch bodies. Hmph)


  1. I also love love love Oscars and I cant wait to watch it...Hugs and kisses, darling

  2. it should be noted that this year they are not planning on pushing people off with the starting up of the orchestra. i read so in EW.

  3. Doh! It's settled then...I have more loves than hates. Oscar night is perfect.


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