Attempting a Come Back...of Sorts


This weekend I found my amazing grace. You know, the I once was lost...but now I'm found moment. Last week the idea of my acting dream could send my heart into spasmatic land...All I'd see were images of me crying over some missed audition...the endless butt twitch-inducing stories I've written about in my book. Funny on paper...not so much in real life. It's not about the thin skin stuff. I can take rejection lol. Trust...

What I can't handle is the fact that Hollywood is about who you know...who's willing to stretch out a hand. It's tiring trying to be genuinely eager about a land of fake ass-kissing. Just saying...

I was going through all of these painful emotions...have been for the last year and while I'm dealing, my agent calls me up and tells me I need to get my ish together or the agency is dropping my arse.

So I booked a photographer, a shoot day, a make-up artist and asked B to style me up perdy. I've been dreading the shoot for weeks. I just didn't see the point in posing pretty, spending wayyy too much money (that I don't have) just to find myself in the same rat race box I've been in for the last five years. The shoot was MAD different, though!
I had THE best time. I had full control over what I wanted...the looks I wanted to put out there in the world and the locations. Commercial shots are all about personality...all the other photographers I've ever worked with have spoken to me for a couple of minutes, sized me up, and bullied me into what they assumed would be my personality schtick I could use for auditions. Boo. David, the photographer, gave me full control. Before I knew it, I could feel my groove coming back. When given the opportunity I can rock some big kid decisions. I know...shocking.

I felt so light and free. I had good people around me. Jersey asked to come and I almost had a cow, but B scolded me for being a wuss so I told him he could hang...I warned him though that laughing at me while working could result in penis punches. (Threats help. Trust.) It was a lovely day and I have lovely pictures to show for it. I'll be sending a disc to my agent today. Cross your fingers...and toes. Try your eyes too. I need all the help I can get!


  1. Those are such a great photos...I love the one where you wearing that bow-tie:) So cool:) Happy Monday,sweetie pie

    Ps: you are totally adorable:)

  2. Thanks Diana! :)

    I thank you for that inspiration ;)

    Happy Monday!!!


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