it's khooooooob

my darling pal kris surprised me with free lunch today. you give the girl some luv and a bit of grey nail polish and she will HOOK.YOU.UP!

you know i love me some free, but even if i had forked over the cash for this heavenly meal i'd still partake in the eyes-rolling-back-into-my-head dance.

it's like kare... (that means butta' in farsi.)  CHECK ME OUT!

kris showed me how to eat it. you put butter in the rice. then you take the roasted tomato and slice it into the rice. combine that heaven with the chicken and onions and wait for a burst of perfection to hit your taste buds. oh...my...GAWD!

i heart all the colors

yup...it's like that. my hoola girl in the background agrees.

shameless writing plug

cherries make you POOT.

the empire of kiwi

something happened when i started figuring out maybe i do have a purpose, talent and achievable dream after all...i actually started looking at my life with new gusto.

last week my agent called me up (kind of snarky-like) telling me i needed to get my keister in the office to update my contracts and go over new pictures they should submit. mind you the last meeting i had with them was this time last year. i was feeling a little bothered by the whole thing since i've done absolutely nada for them since moving out here. (every job i've landed was due to my own hustle.) i came in with my guard up but left with a smile on my face. 

long gone was the snarky agent. i said hello to my sweet and tiny pimp agent and the happy began. i signed a grip of papers that i've never signed before actually...stuff that means they can book me for AFTRA jobs as well as other goodies that pay nice-like. that's IF and WHEN i get the darn job, but the hope in itself was nice. 

i signed my contracts. i handed over the last set of pics i did this time last year and the rest of the time was spent discussing my toby the nook (my eBook people!), the cancer scare crap from last year...that surprisingly she remembered in detail and what i've been doing since our last meeting.

she actually smirked at me when i mentioned the reality tv show. i told her not to judge and she burst out laughing. she said as long as i knew i had signed my life away to said network she was cool with it. i told her my face on the boob tube could lead to her getting cash in her designer bag...that put a smile on her face. 

i also mentioned the book. i think i saw a butt twitch actually...could tell the wheels in her noggin were spinning, wondering if i had possibly written about her...now that i think about it i didn't. ha! i might have to add something. remind me of this later when i'm cursing the gods above for having to write another damn word. 


so yeah, i'm back to being an actress in training i guess. to this day i REFUSE to say i am an actress if i'm not working. i am comfortable with terms that explain the real deal...ya feel me?


acting, book and NOW a new book that my best bud j totally gave me the inspiration for. when my creative juices start flowing life's good. the empire of kiwi is strong yo. 

s

i just heart my dress. (only reason for this pic)

dressing up for the tiny one is a must.

the universe whispers

did you know that? 


they say the universe gives you the answers...first it whispers and if you ignore that, it'll get a bit louder and louder until finally it slaps you in the face. best to listen to the whispers...


universe whisper #1
friday night i sat on my couch looking thru my lovely picture book and feeling sorry for myself...feeling sorry that i'm not luggin around a mini me yet...that i don't own a home...that i don't do this and i don't have that, blah blah blah...

then an angel from the tv (a character from private practice) said something along the lines of "you don't like your life? well, stop whining about it and actually do something. when you're in the mud pull your legs up. if you can't walk, crawl, but keep moving damn it" and my ears heard the whisperings. those tears of mine ceased at that very moment. shamed by my very own boob tube.


so...i'm crawling. yeah, i feel sorry for myself for not having from time to time. then i remember that you have to appreciate what you have first before more comes...and sometimes God takes away to make room for something bigger and more awesome that needs lots of space. i'm starting, just now, to realize such things. my lesson pushed me to reopen my book this weekend and keep the process flowing. now it's ready to be bound for final edits in green (it's a langston hughes thing...) i want to do something that makes me proud, keeps me creative and allows me to take care of myself, both financially and spiritually.

i also made an appointment with this dreamy dude at the salon halle berry's stylist runs. daniel (the dream boat) will be giving me some much needed change to continue my progression. it's as simple as a haircut sometimes...i've looked the same since 8th grade. that ish needs to evolve! on april 22nd i hope to be a more polished tishy. did i mention my stylist guy is dreamy? cuz if i didn't, he is AND he ran his fingers thru my hair and made my eyes roll back. growl... 


i'm crawling universe...


universe whisper #2
my whole life i've thought if i accepted a compliment folks would think i was prideful or conceited so i'm now known for knocking down the sweet things whenever they're given. that nonsense stopped this weekend. i went to a restaurant with my lovely bud, rushell, and this man stopped me to say that he and his family thought i had beautiful hair. 


i beamed and said a heartfelt thank you. when people take the time to say something sweet and kind you accept it darn it. if you don't appreciate the sweet things, they'll stop coming. 

i'm taking notes universe...


universe whisper #3
i've been so scared lately...scared of being unhappy...scared of having a bad day. i've wished for consistent happiness like it really exists in this world. whenever i start to tear up or feel like hiding in a corner, i panic:  is this the onset of the blues? should i nip it now? will it devour me?


i've been reading zadie smith's book changing my mind for some time now. in her last essay, zadie discusses the american ethnocentric notion of happiness. i admit, i was an ignorant fool for assuming  it's unnatural to have bad days. she pokes fun at the woman who can't accept that depression comes and goes. she goes on to say that sadness is a symptom of something...other cultures get this. it's a sign we're given to point us in a general direction to heal something...embrace it effectively with purpose...and not just eradicate the stuff without wondering what brought it on. 

while i still believe in the powers of a good pill if you're suffering from a chemical imbalance, i respect her words and what she had to say. i'm going to give myself a break...ya hear that ms 29 years old?!  while you won't catch me splashing around in the pools of sadness like i've hit the jack pot, i won't fight the blues either when they come and go...i'll use them to listen to what my life needs and what truly makes my heart feel joy. 

i'm learning universe...

this is it...

moviei realize i'm slow and sometimes it takes me awhile. i wasn't ready for mj's documentary when it first came out...

friday night my roommate brought home a grip of new flicks including the documentary. i braved the tears and sat down with her to watch today. i cried in the opening scene for goodness sakes, but it was good. 

sad that i'm just now realizing how truly brilliant the man was. so caring and detail-orientated...

it's always hard to process when we lose an icon. glad i had an mj fan to watch it with. she brought me a tissue box quickly...gotta love it.

 

her last single soiree

there's something powerfully emotional about celebrating with a group of women....especially when you're celebrating a woman's upcoming wedding. my friend latasha was one of my first friends on the job years ago. there was always the joke that when someone was looking for a "latasha" they'd come looking for me. i'd reply, "oh i'm the latisha--you're looking for the white girl." lol...that vowel created a friendship that tickles me green. 

dawn, the best woman of honor, was easy to love. do you see the sandra bullock resemblance?

 location: the sofitel

very posh, very fancy schmancy

 

the ladies start to arrive

the hotel took care of every little detail...right down to the menu

 the food was perfection. i oinked...in a very tight dress, but i made it happen

cheers to a lady..behold the snazzy one

no bachelorette party is complete without the naughty gifts and games...

 

feminists don't butt twitch, but something happens to a woman in love about to marry. they radiate love's glow

cupcakes sealed the deal--perfect night

true friends will tell you when you're doing too much...ms whip and a tickle

 being in the land of pretty people did something to a sister

...and i definitely felt the love

 

goof twins

this is what i love most...they've  known each other since 2nd grade. they grew up together, latasha was there for dawn on her wedding day. i think this is when it finally sunk in for the both of them

like i said, i love women celebrating life's awesome moments

thank you future mrs LC for the advice over the years, the sympathy, the understanding--all that lovely sharing stuff that women are just so darn good at. you deserve all the happiness coming your way.

hoarder

a

i think i have a problem...

i'm kind of obsessed with lip glosses. this morning i was looking for something to make me happy so i started pulling out tubes thinking i'd find the happy bug there. after pulling all of these out of my bag (clown car for lip glosses) i decided i might, just might, have a slight tiny issue. i might need help.

preferably oprah, please.

p.s. i realize there's irony in posting this the day after writing the price of beauty. that's the beauty about writing about any darn random thing that pops into my head.

price of beauty

how i love the oprah show...

did anyone else catch that episode that featured jessica simpson? it was pretty darn endearing. she talked a lot about the issues our beloved media had with her weight as well as the show she's currently doing (the price of beauty--VH1). she goes all over the world exploring beauty and what it looks like to different cultures. 

beauty and i have NEVER been friends. since i was a small kid it's been hammered into my head that beauty is a curse...it's what weak women use to get ahead...no, no--don't value  your beauty, value your brain. don't get me wrong. i'm still a fan of my noggin, but lets be honest. most women are beat over the head with bully messages of prettiness our entire lives. it's supposedly how we define our worth...twitch, twitch in the butt!


i spent a healthy amount of time sitting with my darling godkid talking about how awesome smart girls are when she was an impressionable toddler...tried to encourage that doctor dream... obsessing over something as subjective as beauty scared me. i didn't and still don't want that for my precious mini me.


there was one woman on simpson's show whose face has been destroyed because of her beauty endeavors...she tried a bleaching cream that basically ate the skin on her face. her husband left her and she gave up her singing career because of the shame she couldn't shake. the dang lady had jessica, her buds and me all in tears.  we as women are taught from an early age that beauty is everything. even i'm guilty of this hogwash. i've been in that sad boat where i feel if i were just prettier...this and this and THIS would happen. this show's a nice wake up call...


(i can't believe i'm saying that about a gal who once asked if tuna was fish or chicken.)

as a 29 year old sophisticated, intelligent gal, i'll continue to get smarty and remember what obsessing over beauty can do to a woman's spirit...but there's gotta be a balance somewhere in that game. i don't think there's anything wrong with appreciating women's inner beauty. in fact i think it's essential for sanity.

today i'm packing a quad shot starbucks drink, a scarf that makes my neck feel yummy and my favorite jeans that don't suffocate my legs...that combo right there makes me feel comfortable, light and yes, pretty in my own skin.

think there's hope for me afterall...

hand stamp of shame

oh snap...i came into work today with the hand stamp of shame...which is probably also on the side of my face because i tend to sleep on my hands...i'm a smooth operator, what can i say. the shame is totally worth it though!

so i woke up late because last night i was partying like a rockstar. i went to this totally irish, irish pub down in la called molly malones to see a buddy of mine perform with her band, the ethels. so ethel, my buddy, is the hot little tart featured in the middle. i'm seriously kind of sort of a groupie because the chick is HUH-larious. i probably wrote a post the first time i met her a couple of years ago because the chick is out of this world. i love meeting funny people that aren't exhausting you with their attempts to make you laugh. she's just this quick witted dry-humored miss thang and her band kind of followed in the same entertaining fashion.


they come out on stage in their spiffy suits, stoic faces...and sing a song about a stalker getting off the lawn lol. the laughter didn't stop after that. i don't know if i've ever seen a band that combines this type of humor with actually good band play. (the band that went before them was whack with a capital dub...weirdlings for sure. don't make me talk about them. i'll cry.

the best part though...my home girl plays the drums...oh yeah! what girl out there didn't want to be sheila e as a kid?! she got a gazillion points for that little surprise. she sings, she plays guitar (devilish giggle)...

so yeah...if you are ever in the la area and they happen to have a show, definitely check them out. this is the type of la i like to be a part of. i feel young and alive when i'm seeing new things, laughing with good people and eating irish food called the "shallale (pronounced sha-lay-lee) sandwhich.

just saying...

sincerely,


an ethels band-aid...throwing panties on stage since 2010.

two deuce signs of harmony

i know it's a week and some change, but i finally sat down to breath. i know...purple just wasn't my shade apparently.


my bud b and jersey thru me a little shindig in santa monica. i didn't want to do anything huge and silly this year...just low key and lovely and they certainly gave it to me :)

sprinkles cupcakes are the bee's knees

 

 

the gang sets up. 

child slavery makes a comeback

young and (very) old play

 i can't remember the name of this 'sport' it's italian, though. i remember that

 besties

my favorite dogs...in the world (say this like cesar the dog whisperer) frank and fran

trying to steal my birthday thunder

frank gets tied up in a funky way. his father laughs at his expense. cruel world...

b's boys get down

evvie and kat enjoy the lovely

dad and daughter

mother, son and daughter

beautiful day in santa monica

 you know it wouldn't have been complete without the socks!

j pretends to dig me

oh no he didn't!

eventual beat down

gansta mom finally makes it to the party!

later that night...

we meet back up for seafood in long beach

my birthday thing. it was tasty...

i sadly did NOT get to see the movie i wanted but it was showing in theater 13...coincidence? i think not!

 ...and that is pretty much the extent to my lovely day. it was just what i needed and more...