spittin' knowledge


what i know about the world and myself today...

women are confident. period. it's weird and crazy men who come in and plant seeds of insecurity and laugh evilly as that insecurity sprouts wings and kicks arse. don't argue with me. i only speaks the truths.

i have an odd and unnecessary battle with fashion. i can either totally ignore it and focus on my writing (and other career ambitions) or i can spend energy trying to look cute. i don't know where i came up with the notion that you can only have one or the other, but i did and it's a battle i partake in every morning in front of my closet.

blackberries are the worst invention ever on the face of the planet.i dream of one day ripping the ball out of the phone like the alien does in the guyver. nothing will satisfy my cold black heart more...

i love the word moot, but only enjoy hearing certain people use it. others sound like pretentious twat heads and twat heads make my ass twitch a bit.

i love my profile on my nook's barnes and noble page. it's green. it's frogalicious and it's simple. that pretty much sums up my entire existence right there. one of my many self-imposed boxes i hop to and fro from.

i enjoy blogs probably more than the average bloke. i swear someone up there in the clouds heard my pleas of nosiness. (i always wanted to be a fly on the wall in rich people's homes.) now i can see their pads, their clothes, i can hear about their arguments and likes...it's fabu.

i am tickled green with my christmas list idea i posed this year for jersey and i. we were going to get an iPad and just share that mess between the two of us, but it's like $800 bones. that's ludicrous! so now we've got little lists of our 2010 favorite things. they say a lot about our personalities and tastes. i heart lists. lists were probably invented by kiwi fairies of perfection who wanted to bless the world with love.

it may not take a whole day to recognize sunshine, but it usually takes 6 months up to a year of living with mr sunshine before you start to see the skid marked undies and deal with the free gas explosions that erupt from his booty. don't let common's lyrics keep you down when you're dude says "let's take it slow". kiss and thank that undie artist!

girls with louis vuitton bags and bedazzled phones scare me. there's something excessively wrong there...just saying. stop shouting your fashion at me!!! it hurts my eyes!!!

i enjoy throwing things away. call me a heartless clutterphobe, but i don't hold on to sentimental if sentimental could one day turn into a home for mr and mrs rat feces. just saying...that's where i take it...every time. it always goes to rat feces.


  1. Love it and love you! My sides bursting with laughter is about all the fit bottom I'm getting today..so thanks :-)


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