After a Word From Our Sponsor

11.17.2010
With the onset of DVR came the fall of the commercial. I breeze right on through those bad boys most days (my Journalism professors are shatting their pants right now), but sometimes I get suckered into live telly and the immaturity starts flowing...

All kidults from the 80s, do you see any similarities between the new movie, Due Date and Trains, Planes and Automobiles? It's recycled hoo haw, but I'll still watch that ish because it features my dream dog..a french bulldog complete with cone of shame. Damn those enticing movie trailers...

People who eat the McRib are sick masochists. A mutant glob of fake meat is currently making sweet passionate love to your organs in hopes of making diseased babies of ick. Shame on McDonald's for using Matt White's Love song to get the baby making shenanigans going. Bow chicka ew ew...

Speaking of panty droppers...The new Dentyne commercial is dangerous. Some special kind of idiot is really gonna think gum is the safe way to get down. The proper way to practice safe shenanigans is to NOT chew gum...Keep the halitosis and you'll never have to worry about the consequences of getting busy.

I now need diamonds, LOTS and LOTS of diamonds yo! The holiday season is chock-a-block full of this crap. A kiss begins with Kay, he went to Jared's!, blah blah blah. Some poor innocent, yet dumb dude is going to give his girlfriend a small tea flower in a ring-sized box for Christmas. She will immediately start blubbering thinking it's a big phat ass engagement ring only to find out it's a flippin' flavored flower. He'll find the box shoved where the sun refuses to shine and wonder why.

I've learned putting a little bit of love in your home can only be accomplished by going to Target and putting big named brands in. And here I thought family, laughter and pumpkin bread was the way to go. Dumb Dumb McGee Tishy...You silly wanker.

2 comments:

  1. Totally adore your posts and your blog:)
    Kisses

    Ps: I’m hosting a Pistacho Press GIVEAWAY today, so please join in :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. oh i'm all over that sister! lol already joined in lol

    i love "following" people with the blogger too. i'm sure people i stalk lives...i like to call it efficient updating. :)

    ReplyDelete

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