tragic mulatta snags a pinoy

the other night i was watching glee with jersey. they've got all these new stars on the show and this week's gleek just happened to be the filipina sensation, charise. jersey got all crazy-like when he figured out the filipinos were reppin' his show. (i've never seen him gleek quite that hard.) at one point he said he needed a filipino flag and i hurriedly said, " i can be your flag!!!" then i paused and got real confused like. is this what happens when you dive into an interracial relationship? do you start thinking you're the other race?! or is this just a mixed girl thing? (i tend to blend in, wear different hats, and identify with a plethora of minority issues.)

i wondered, was i losing my sista girl-ness? i had to act fast. i turned on some miles davis and waited for my appreciation for the sound to kick in. i had to turn off my colbie caillat in order to find him. ahhh! my butt began to twitch. i know i had received some of my dad's earth, wind and fire tapes as a kid and that definitely didn't work. why would miles (even though i do love that man!) work now? i had to get serious. how did i begin the process of identifying myself as straight up sista girl back in college? it was my first ticket! aha! when the cop stopped me, scolded me, ripped the ticket off the pad and handed it to me, there was a huge bold "B" for blackitude. that's when i knew i wasn't just a white girl with a good tan...

eureka! i just needed someone to call me black...remind me that i am and voila! my identity crisis would be over.

luckily, my girl b asked if i'd like to join her for a business lunch with some some fellas from her department. bruthas would be there?! bet! so i was off and boy was it swell! we talked about lord of the rings, glee, and other fun topics that people of all crayon colors talk about BUT i was doing it with my bruthas (and one filipino dude...they roll deep in cali!) and they were using lots of "we's" to describe stuff! and there came that identity of mine. smiles all around.

i wonder...after being around someone of a different race for a period of time, do they become the color of water (raceless), or do we just start seeing them as we see ourselves? if it's the latter, then i have a lot of bebot lessons and boba tea in my future...


  1. Us mixed folks, we are always straddling more than one horse. There I go mentioning horses, even as I struggle to get past "the incident."

    Sometimes I love my mixedness and sometimes I struggle to find my place. Depends on the day, I guess.


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