feeling warts


i know i have issues. hell, my issues have issues...but that's why friends are so important. don't know if you follow that drama of a show grey's anatomy, but recently the writers brought on a dude with tree-like limbs. apparently old dude had a really low immune system...so low he couldn't fight off a simple wart...the warts spread to his entire body...warts on top of warts and that's where my psychotic tendencies blossomed like the warts i saw.

i came to work the next morning and began to google the show...i wanted to find out if someone really could wart up and low and behold, i found a true case of a wart man. i immediately began to itch. i could feel the warts growing underneath my skin and i just knew...i just knew i had only days before i too was chicken pecking my keyboard with tree-like limbs. OH THE AGONY! i'm feeling faint.

i had to immediately call my bestie...i knew she'd be able to calm me down and convince me i wasn't coming down with leprosy on crack. you think i'm being funny but i am THE biggest hypochondriac known to ants and small kittens. if i get enough information about a certain ailment, you can best believe my ass will contract it. my ability to blend and acclimate doesn't stay put in the land of cultural chit chat. oh no...i acclimate to sicknesses as well. you start talking about scabies and i'm itching for days. empathy has an ugly side.

of course j is able to talk me out of going to my doctor for preemptive wart prevention...but apparently she wasn't confident in her powers. i called back 10 minutes later to ask a question about a fit bottomed girl post...before i could even get out the question she was yelling into the phone, "you are not growing tree limbs out of your body, tish!!!"

i couldn't help but laugh...yes, i have issues. yes, my friends know this and have dealt with it for years upon years...this does not mean they've gotten used to it. heck...there are way too many creative ailments in the world for me and the crew to find peace.


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