motivation schmotivation

i'm feelin' mighty low...i'm feelin' mighty tired ize is.

this book thing is so bananas. it's bananas and then some. i just sent out another batch of agent inquiry letters. (that's 41 if you're counting.) lucky 41...come on 41. please 41 FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, 41!

i've decided that stack will be my last batch for a while. i think i'll give it a month (to get back responses) and then i'll focus more on self publishing. i didn't really want to go that way (because it would involve me actually learning about publishing. ick.) but what ev. as long as the baby (i.e. book) can be born i'll keep my trap shut and shuffle along...then if that sucks balls i'll switch back over to the dear pimp letters.

this stuff is seriously draining. it feels almost like you're running a marathon and you see the finish line in sight, you know what it looks like and what it's gonna feel like once you cross over, but it's still 13 miles away and you took off too fast...wasted valuable energy. i'm sputtering. that smell you smell isn't gas. it's the fumes of my heart reaching for a dang dream.

i need a drink. i need a drink like the ones i see in the movies. the kind in the fancy decanter that the gentleman grabs for when he needs a good stiff one. for some reason it seems like those drinks are magical and really do help you to frickin' calm the ish down, save the world, get 'er done.

the stuff i find just bloats me and when i'm bloated i can't really fathom conquering ish.



  1. First off -- you're ahead of me in this game, doll. I know it's a hard, hard road, but you will get to the Destination of Awesome. I know you will.
    Second -- I don't have one of those snazzy decanters full of scotch or other amber-coloured booze, but I DO have a couple bottle of pretty good wine that I need some help with in drowning my own sorrows... fancy a glass sometime?

  2. Alcohol isn't the answer. It only reminds the brain to bring to the surface things you'd rather not think about...including the book issues.

    Your blogs are entertaining and fun! The way you word things remind me of a kid with big dreams, who wants more in life and you draw in the the point where they want you to make it and succeed. I truly believe that if you continue to give your all to what it is you want, you will have it my dear. I wish you the best with your book and all other endeavors.


  3. thanks ya'll : )

    i'll keep truckin'...


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