the minions are not happy

i am a type A spazmatic freakazoid.

i admit this freely, openly, intentionally and i do so with über amounts of pride.

i like things to happen yesterday speed. i like order, cleanliness, space rationality...i need all of these things in my life in order to appease the little minions that live deep, deep down inside my noggin.

one thing i've figured out on my big kid relationship journey: organizing shared space costs money.

bummer. ouch. EW!!! that hurt to even write.

i know the feeling i want to feel when i walk into our place but i lack clear vision (and can't afford to pay someone to help with that ish.) i have no idea how to utilize space efficiently. i just know i don't wanna see shit in places that it shouldn't be. i shouldn't have crackers in my linen closet cuz there's no room in the pantry. "that's a mortal sin! we do not approve! it hurts! it hurts, queen tish!" the minions cry.

i need hooks and shelves and tiny drawer spaces in the bathroom for my lady bit accessories. i need laundry bins that hide their tacky little selves. i need something that magically makes computer cords back the fuck up and hide themselves before they wreck themselves.

is this too much to ask? are you asking yourself right now, "self: does she know that it's weird that she places too damn much importance on this little shit?" yeah i know...i'm weird, ok? somethings that may annoy the shit out of you like for instance the ongoing war between mac and the pc mean nothing to mean. i can rest comfortably while dating hipsters and nerds battle it out in cyberspace. shoes inside the house? another thing that bothers me not. this makes many of my friends wince with pain but i care not. see, it balances out somewhere. (smiles)

i need a damn HGTV fairy godmother to come into my life and cut me some slack. i'm 29. i'm grown for goodness' sake! i should have a place that feels homie and less like a college frickin' frackin' dorm room. are spaces like the ones below too much to ask for?...

art should be...funny quirky but sexy yes, i realize that's a baby with attitude
i think of my books (aka children) as art. they should be placed on shelves with tasteful respect...with white apples.
this is a work space. do you see a cord? i don't see a cord!

i could sleep lacks essence of prison bed feel.

function over form can take a hike. i want pretty stuff to look at!

this is my hell...chills are running up and down my spine


  1. Hahaha, I so feel you Tish. I am the same way and actually going through a mental chaos at the crap that is around and not in proper place. You can get little shelf thingys that are space savers and cheap. You can put more can goods and such in y;0our pantry that way. Go to wally-world, seriously like a dollar or two, diff sizes. At least there's a start, I know how much you like food :)

  2. You surely have an IKEA close, right? Best of luck!


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