this little piggy

5.24.2010
let's get one thing straight...



i'm a pisces...a sign predisposed to either love or hate feet. i happen to be in the "i hate 'em!" category. i think feet are NAST. they're weird looking. they're stinky sometimes...they're just ick, ok? i don't want you touching me with your feet and i can promise you, you will never have to touch mine. maybe i should have let the guy in on this tidbit...

since i didn't give him the manual to tishy ins and outs i had to be cool with the massage gift he gave me from a place called jolly foot. i'm glad i kept my mouth closed! best and cheapest massage i've ever gotten. the place's mantra is based on 2000 year old chinese practices...(the foot is the hot spot magic button for our bodies.) personally i thought it was the doorway to the bog of eternal stench, but what ev...to each his own.


you sit in this calm room in this big over sized chair and they go to work on your entire body (and obviously they spend some time on the feet. they played "this little piggy" with my toes and for the first time ever i didn't squeal with disdain. i actually moaned...possibly drooled. the guy was beside me and started his signature snore about 20 minutes in. i, along with the every one else in the room, found this to be quite hilarious.


here's the kicker. ole boy rubbin me down got every knot--every point on my body that has plagued me with pain over the years. he'd rub it for a little bit (which i hate usually. that ish hurts!) and then he'd start fist hitting the crap out of me. strangely, i enjoyed the blows to my lungs and kidneys.


he shoved on my booty and did weird things to my legs that left me feeling like gumby by the time iw as done...quite remarkable.


an hour massage? 35 dollars. yeah, you read that right.


i have found heaven/nirvana/zen and when pisces go there, they don't give a pooh if people touch the toes.

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