still my start...

2.17.2010
 
there was no pulling up...definitely have to work on the upper body strength. do you remember when this ish was easy for us as kids?!



i've spent the last couple of days hanging out (literally) and doing some randomly sweet things. it's been so long since i've learned something new about myself and what i want...

i'm STILL working on that pesky resolution of learning to love myself a little better. learning to appreciate the good stuff and not flog myself with spiked whips for the accidents and flaws. 
it makes me laugh to admit this, but auditioning for "dating in the dark" did a gal good. the guy behind the camera was asking me some great questions about myself and what i want in another person. i realized that i'm a pretty ok lady if one were to judge me strictly based off the guy i'd choose. 

i didn't give the cheesy butt sniffer answers. i said i wanted someone who made me feel comfortable enough to be the goof i want to be...to appreciate the woman who jumps from box to box--turning into a whole tootin mess of different things. one minute i'm the student, the next minute the teacher and everything in between.

sometimes i want to be the buddy bud tomboy that understands a man's need to grunt, scratch and do manly things...then i'll turn around and demand he see my inner loveliness...i'm talking mesmorized by my cuteness (hearts popping out of the eyes--the works)--every girl wants to know her guy thinks she's beautiful. sometimes i want to be funny...other times i want to be taken seriously...it makes my head spin but i managed to spit all of that and then some at the fellow behind the lens. 

i left the audition, grabbed a chai tea blend from coffee bean and drove home with the windows cracked (can't have direct wind on the new eyeballs just yet) and felt the joy come in.

i figure i'll spend some time doing some good stuff for me. i'll finish my book (i mean it!), i'll finish reading a couple too.  i'll take my time and not rush thru work outs...enjoy that ish.  i'll go see more movies with myself and i'll seek out new stuff to learn like attending an NPR event in march that has me squirming in my chair with excitement.  

it's so hard to appreciate "ME" 24/7, but i'm trying. this is still my start...

2 comments:

  1. I love all the positivity you're exuding in this blog post. But as I sit here at my desk with my gloves, hat and scarf on, after navigating glaciers on the roads to get to work, I feel total rage at the fact that you're on a beach wearing short sleeves and sandals.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Tish ....sounds like a GREAT plan!! I think you are pretty great so yes treat yourself that way for sure! How fun though to do the simple things that help you learn a little bit more:)

    ReplyDelete

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