my special, i'm not talking about my hoo hoo

sometimes i get hella bored at work...don't feel like working on work...feel that i'm the queen of creativity and need my loyal subjects to entertain me arse, and so i go to the world wide web ( i swear i sometimes forget that's what it stands for...gone are my aol chat room days) and i do some damage.

usually i stick to blogs i dig, but people have been stingy with their business lately soooo i've been catching up on archived posts on she's got tons of ish to keep me squealing with glee. a couple of months ago she even started this community post thingy majig that allows someone to post a question and like magic the world responds. 

it's amazing! i shall share some of my loveliness.

i've asked if you can really get pink eye from farts...what are the benefits of going commando...i have entered into a WHOLE NUTHA LEVEL of joy.  

ask jeeves

...and for the curious georges, my question and the answers that followed:

what do you love to do when no one's watching?

All of the things I tell my girls NOT to do.

Scratch under my pouch. And by pouch, I mean stomache, not my cooter. Although...
Let me elaborate. The incision scar from my c-section still itches from time to time, but scratching it is not something I would ever do in public. If I'm alone though, I'm lifting the excess stomache up, and going for the gold. It.feels.great.

@blackpanther- totally thought you were going there, lol!
Watch the Real Housewives of Orange County while digging through the ice cream tub, picking out all the candy pieces and leaving the plain stuff for my hubby.

turn up the tunes and pretend im a disco diva, usually with hoover in hand.

Sing. I let loose when I'm by myself.

@blackpanther...yes totally...aaahhhhhhh. :)
How can something so numb itch? bah...pick a sensation or lack thereof and stick with it.

Sit around in my underwear. (Somehow I've managed to mention this here about 4 times in the past few days, haha!)


@jenniferg, exactly.

Pick my nose and talk to my dog.

watch porn.

but I'll totally watch porn with someone watching. For example: the husband.

@Davina - talk to my dog all the time! I thought people that talked to dogs were nuts until I got a dog. Understood quickly :)
Sing up a storm... I have an awful voice and can only sing in the car. I pretend no one can see me an pull the "sauve pause" at intersections so no one can see me busting a move in the car.

Open a bottle of wine and NOT USE A GLASS.
Also, SING SO DAMN LOUD to TORI AMOS. With that beautiful, not pretty, totally chest voice that's only used when home alone and in the shower.
And run around naked.

Read really trashy romance novels. Give my bodily functions free reign.

In no particular order:
pop some zits
scratch my ass
drink wine directly from the bottle
have a conversation with my cat

I'm classy.

Dance the boogaloo.

I also scratch the c-section scar.
I'm trying to think of when I have time and no one is watching. Maybe sing in the car when I'm driving? That's so sad. I want the porn and wine bottle experience!

Pretty much anything that isn't lady-like... hehe I just hope my husband doesn't have a hidden camera anywhere.... he'd be grossed out LOL

Tweeze the one nasty chin hair
c-section belly scratch
toe lint picking
eat spoonfuls of nutella followed by
drinking milk out of the carton

Talk to my dog. Sing, which is a punishment for everyone else but I enjoy it.

Do face exercises and kiss my pigs on the nose.

XTube. And wine from a glass.
Must give straight from a bottle a try.

- Drink milk from the carton
- Put jello powder on my toast (something I've already mentioned once on here)
- Pluck hair from ... places
- Go #2 with the door wide open


  1. HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! Those responses are great!!!

    I too enjoying going potty with the door open.


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