zeal of a fanatic

so i’m reading this novel by zadie smith…one of my favorite authors and i’m totally back into novel appreciation mode…back to loving words and ideas again. i’ve been running around so hard (literally and metaphorically speaking) i haven’t had much time to sit back and think.

holiday travel really helped in the “make time to think” department though. (sad when you don't have time to think lol)

yesterday i sat and pondered the significance of “going home” and what that really means. by calling middle earth home, i’m insinuating that la is alien,yet it is indeed life as i know it. i need to accept that, right? i’m a dreamer—forever have my head up in the clouds...yeah, definitely need to acceptla is it for now. lol.

there’s a fundamental question brewing because of all this back and forth in my noggin: is one more likely to get hit over the head with the fruits of the present if they stare at the roots of their past for too long? the present demands our attention…gotta come to terms with the three conundrums of life (past, present, and future) maybe if i work on accepting my past (in moderation) it’ll help me appreciate the current me a little better. (because then i can stop looking back scrutinizing the mess out of it!)

this all stems from trying to figure out what my new years resolutions will be in 2010. (in case you were wondering where "tish the deep one" came from)

my current present state consists of friends, job, writing, and marathon training. naming them is the first step…

i'm gonna allow myself to be a fanatic about the good stuff i have going on right now. plain and simple...or at least i hope it is.


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