descartes in the hizzouse

11.30.2009
quick philosophy tidbit: descartes was the guy who asked what's real and how do you know what you think you know... head spinning? mine was when mr older, my high school guru of a teacher, used to spit on a philosophical tip.

my brain really doesn't have the juice to dive into that deeply right now, but i can swim in its shallow pools for the purpose of this post.

this weekend wasn't my finest. i was hella bored most of the time. i started twitching on saturday and that's when the self doubt kicked in. i saw my reality--my immediate life--as pretty darn sucktastic.

i spent the entire day editing my book. i haven't touched the darn thing in a month or so. i thought this would be a good thing. i'd have fresh eyes to catch the boo boos but i think my eyes were a little too fresh. chapter after chapter left me scowling and in pain. i found it all to be crap...utter crap. i edited it as fast as i could and then closed down the laptop for the rest of the night.

i then started editing the other parts of my life. i looked at things and decided it was all crap and scowled myself to sleep. then i woke up on sunday with a different pair of eyes. all the supposedly real thoughts and opinions i had concerning my life weren't as bad as i had previously thought.

i hung out with d the entire day. we watched the blind side and true blood...we laughed and ate good food...one of my boys (who's written a book himself) started reading my book and gave me some nice feedback...in short, things started looking differently. what i thought was real and finite wasn't. saturday phone calls had initially sealed parts of my life's fate and then sunday...completely different sentiments that left me scratching my curl mop.

so what's real? how do you tell real from perspective? when do you celebrate or cry...scowl or smile? i could do it all, but i have a sneaking suspicion people would think i was a bipolar crack head. lol...that wouldn't be a really accurate assessment though. ;)

i'm just little spazzy me...trying to keep it real.

p.s. reading a book my sis gave me for christmas last year, persepolis...good stuff. i dig the graphic novel. it's smart and interesting so far. i can proudly say i dig picture books. as for the blind side...it was touching and sweet--good movie for the holidays.

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